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Florgen
07-08-2012, 10:29 AM
http://www.deviantart.com/download/312810428/ha_ha_by_florgenstein-d568m2k.jpg
http://www.deviantart.com/download/313286389/gowwie__snail_boy_by_florgenstein-d56itbp.jpg

It's really bugging me. I would really love some c&c from you all.

eltoroguaco
07-08-2012, 11:55 AM
wow dude! That is really well done! It kinda remind me of a mix between borderlands and gorillaz. Cool style ;)

About the lines...they are a little thin. Why they gets ugly when saving as a jgp. Save it as a .png or make thicker lines and it will be fixed ;)

Rubisko
07-08-2012, 12:05 PM
Try to use longer and more fluent lines. Lines in themselves are not supposed to be exiting, they are just supposed to present the subject matter, and jagged lines just grabs to much of the viewers attention. But lineart is a whole art by itself, and I don't know that much about it, so it might be something completely different that makes you feel like they're "boring".

But you have some nice coloring going on there, so in the pieces you've posted the lines don't really stand out much anyway. I really like the snail dude.

Matt
07-08-2012, 12:42 PM
I think what you're looking for is variation in line weight. In more shadowed areas, thicken the lines, and where light hits hardest, you may want to erase the lines completely.

Florgen
07-08-2012, 01:13 PM
@eltoroguaco
Thanks ^^. I had a feeling that could've been adding to the problem. I'll give it a try next time I upload my art. Thank you.

@Rubisko
Hmm. Okay that makes sense. My lines are not very trained as of now. Now that I think of it I remember that I kept getting frustrated and just pecking at the linework as opposed to nice full strokes. Thanks

@Matt
This is something I definitely had in mind. I don't know why I wasn't attempting to apply it to my line work. I have to keep in mind what Rubisko said "lineart is a whole art by itself" and take more time with it. Thank you too

I'm going to apply all of your great suggestions to a drawing in a moment. I'll post it after it's done. I appreciate you all.
:cat_relax:

Demonfyre
07-08-2012, 01:55 PM
Other than what Guaco has already mentioned I can't contribute more of a critique but those are some amazing drawings you've got there, they are very well done particularly the snail boy :D I look forward to seeing more :) keep up your good work :D

Hamachi
07-08-2012, 03:51 PM
Eh, you may or may not know this (I'm guessing the former from your skill level) but here you go (http://tentopet.livejournal.com/12935.html).

ClockHand
07-08-2012, 04:10 PM
Keeping from Rubisko's comment. Lines tend to be "boring", they can do change and be more entertaining, but you have the problem of your "style" vs making line arts more entertaining. This is because "simple lines" with a nice coloring in your style work really well, if you try to go bold with the lines, it would create a fight with the colors, as thick lines ask more attention, and your colors are very passive (yellow and saturation), all the attention would go to the lines.

Something you could do, is deleting lines in some parts, this works really well if you follow deepness and volumes, at deleting lines in parts that are closer to the viewer (it can also be done inverted). With this I think lines could become a little more playful, and wouldn't end fighting for attention.

ScarletHue
07-10-2012, 07:52 AM
Your style is great how it is IMO. But if you insist on changing it in terms of your lines, I'd take Clock's advice and vary the line weight in some places without going bold.

Cloudy
07-15-2012, 07:35 AM
they are awesome you should post more :)