PDA

View Full Version : Kami's work :)



kamisoyokaze
06-17-2012, 01:44 PM
Hello, long, long, long time since I've been here! But I jsut started to draw again, so I'm back! It would be much appreciated if you would cc my drawings :)

I'll kick things off with this then shall I :)?
http://i46.tinypic.com/cqd8i.png

eltoroguaco
06-17-2012, 04:45 PM
hey! that's really nice. It's a tricky pose that's well handled, the colours fit and do not fall off the lines and the background goes well together with the character.

But a good critique need to point out what you could improve as well, so better mention what I can see right now.
On shading, you could shade the skin and white shirt a little more so it would get the same 3D effect as the skirt.
Her breasts a little different on size and the line does not appear to be right on her left breast.
On the face; the left cheekbone could be a little higher and above the right cheekbone, the shape next to the eye could go a little lower and less curved. It makes her forehead seem misplaced.

Besides that, it's a really good picture ;) Personally think it's better than my works. Well done =D

Mr_Liebe
06-17-2012, 04:51 PM
Sorry, but she looks anorexic, you should fatten her up some, especially around the mid-section. Seriously, I'm getting the same feeling when I see a malnourished horse, all wobbly. I don't know why, but the eyes look dead to me, try and put a bit more emotion into them. Darken some of the areas on the darker area, especially on the Yuna sleeve things. Other than that, you're looking great.

Please return the favor.

kamisoyokaze
06-17-2012, 04:58 PM
hey! that's really nice. It's a tricky pose that's well handled, the colours fit and do not fall off the lines and the background goes well together with the character.

But a good critique need to point out what you could improve as well, so better mention what I can see right now.
On shading, you could shade the skin and white shirt a little more so it would get the same 3D effect as the skirt.
Her breasts a little different on size and the line does not appear to be right on her left breast.
On the face; the left cheekbone could be a little higher and above the right cheekbone, the shape next to the eye could go a little lower and less curved. It makes her forehead seem misplaced.

Besides that, it's a really good picture ;) Personally think it's better than my works. Well done =D

Cheers, thanks for all the pointers :) Yeah I thought the face and head was a weird shape, but i couldn't quite put my finger on it, thanks! I shall work on it!


Sorry, but she looks anorexic, you should fatten her up some, especially around the mid-section. Seriously, I'm getting the same feeling when I see a malnourished horse, all wobbly. I don't know why, but the eyes look dead to me, try and put a bit more emotion into them. Darken some of the areas on the darker area, especially on the Yuna sleeve things. Other than that, you're looking great.

hehe, I'll bare that In mind, cheers :P

JJJorgie
06-17-2012, 06:55 PM
Her left (our right) ankle looks broken. You should make the front of the calf one whole straight line until you get to the actual ankle.

ram
06-18-2012, 12:50 AM
We can only post one thread per person, it's for people to see your progress at drawing.

Hayashida
06-18-2012, 01:05 AM
We can only post one thread per person, it's for people to see your progress at drawing.

Where's their other thread?

ram
06-18-2012, 01:14 AM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/forum/showthread.php?1301-Kamisoyokaze-s-art-up-for-critique.

You could atleast look it up on his older post, it's just 50

kamisoyokaze
06-18-2012, 01:22 AM
Her left (our right) ankle looks broken. You should make the front of the calf one whole straight line until you get to the actual ankle.

Hmmm, that's just the angle of the leg, the front of the calf is looking directly at the 'camera' and her foot is turned inward a little. Not sideways like you are thinking. Guess I nee to make that clearer.


We can only post one thread per person, it's for people to see your progress at drawing.
It's a super old thread and all my links are broken, so I thought it was best not to gravedig it.

JJJorgie
06-18-2012, 01:29 AM
Hmmm, that's just the angle of the leg, the front of the calf is looking directly at the 'camera' and her foot is turned inward a little. Not sideways like you are thinking. Guess I nee to make that clearer.

It's still bent it a way that would mean it was broken.

Hayashida
06-18-2012, 01:35 AM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/forum/showthread.php?1301-Kamisoyokaze-s-art-up-for-critique.

You could atleast look it up on his older post, it's just 50
Yeah, Kamisoyokaze should have looked for their old thread and posted there, though it's a bit too late for that. They can keep using this thread and let that other one go.
Don't backseat mod by the way. If there's any kind of problem in this subforum, the assigned moderator (Gunzet) will take care of it.

ram
06-18-2012, 02:11 AM
@Kamisoyokaze, you know there are a lot of valuable critiques in that old thread like hamachi's link and some of nisaren and Ged pointed out.

and those critiques didn't seem to reach you when I look at this new drawing of yours, it's such a shame that you didn't just revived that thread.

The only advice that I'd like to give you for now is that you should review again what they said in that last thread.
that's all.

kamisoyokaze
06-18-2012, 02:20 AM
It's still bent it a way that would mean it was broken.

I can do that position with my leg o.O


@Kamisoyokaze, you know there are a lot of valuable critiques in that old thread like hamachi's link and some of nisaren and Ged pointed out.

and those critiques didn't seem to reach you when I look at this new drawing of yours, it's such a shame that you didn't just revived that thread.

The only advice that I'd like to give you for now is that you should review again what they said in that last thread.
that's all.

I haven't disregarded those critiques, on the contrary I still remember them and try to do them, I also have all the resources people directed to me in that thread and others saved to my pc :) For example you linked me to some proportion guides, I actually used them in drawing this most recent one :)

I'll read through it again though to make sure I didn't miss anything off. Cheers :)

GunZet
06-18-2012, 11:43 AM
Due to this thread already being so far along, it'd be kind of inconvenient to merge this with the old. So I'll let this one fly as a 'reboot' thread. But remember, one thread per person, even if it's super old- if you have one, grab the shovel and dig a bit.

Besides all that jazz, I'll hit you up with a crit in a bit.

kamisoyokaze
06-18-2012, 12:48 PM
Here's some more: A sketch here, tried to make it less skinny this time :P I also tried to make her look like she's leaning forward, I don't know how successful this is but it would probably help it if i coloured and shaded it.

http://i50.tinypic.com/28s296q.png

And a doodle I did at school today :L I think the face is too high up on the head, and the neck is too long, but i can fix that on the pc later. It's a murderous doll fyi...
http://i46.tinypic.com/166hboh.jpg


Due to this thread already being so far along, it'd be kind of inconvenient to merge this with the old. So I'll let this one fly as a 'reboot' thread. But remember, one thread per person, even if it's super old- if you have one, grab the shovel and dig a bit.

Besides all that jazz, I'll hit you up with a crit in a bit.
Cheers, I figured as my old post is so old and all the pictures in it have broken I should start a new one... Sorry.

JJJorgie
06-18-2012, 01:05 PM
On the first picture: Since she's leaning forward and looking up, you'll want to lower her head a little more (in this pose, you shouldn't be able to see the neck). You should probably make the feet a bit bigger. Also, there are no clearly defined shoulder, so it makes the arms looks a bit odd. This is a bit of a stylistic thing, but eyes shouldn't slat down.

On the second picture, I see you went back to the old thread :) Overall, it's pretty good. The hands and feet look a bit small, though.

Hope this helps!

kamisoyokaze
06-18-2012, 01:18 PM
On the first picture: Since she's leaning forward and looking up, you'll want to lower her head a little more (in this pose, you shouldn't be able to see the neck). You should probably make the feet a bit bigger. Also, there are no clearly defined shoulder, so it makes the arms looks a bit odd. This is a bit of a stylistic thing, but eyes shouldn't slat down.

On the second picture, I see you went back to the old thread :) Overall, it's pretty good. The hands and feet look a bit small, though.

Hope this helps!

Ah I didn't think about that head position, big help, thanks! I know there's no clearly defined shoulder, this is somethign I tried to fix and failed horribly at and I'm not sure what to do about it. Up ill make the feet bigger.

Hehe, as I said before, I never forgot what was in the old thread, actually for this, it had nothing to do with the old thread, I was bored in physics and somehow my mind wondered to the horror anime "another" in which i remembered the dolls, so I wanted to draw a horror themed doll. Then I remembered a resource on my computer (which actually came from my old thread) and so based it off that, but I had to do it from memory.

Matt
06-18-2012, 01:19 PM
Top picture:

First thing I noticed is that her chin is really pointy. Looking at the anatomy behind that, she wouldn't even have room for her bottom teeth. Yes, yes, this is anime, but most anime at least allows for some sort of semirealistic skull. Moving down, her boobs shouldn't be pressed together like that if she's leaning over unless her top is really constricting. From the way it's drawn, I take it it's not. They should be slightly lower and a bit looser. Sort of like this. (http://www.my-iguru.com/ipad/assets/images/ipad-wallpapers/babes/ipad-wallpaper-egyptian-goddess.jpg)

Also, I can't critique all of them exactly, but grab a reference photo of a person wearing the same type of clothing as you want your character wearing. Ink in the more prominent folds using your reference. As it is, it looks like you know where the folds should go, but aren't hitting the right look for them.

Bottom picture:

Her face isn't too far up, I don't think. If you were going for realism, that'd be closer to what you'd want. As it is, I think what you're seeing as awkward may be the way her human face and hair contrast with a mannequin's body.

kamisoyokaze
06-18-2012, 01:44 PM
Top picture:

First thing I noticed is that her chin is really pointy. Looking at the anatomy behind that, she wouldn't even have room for her bottom teeth. Yes, yes, this is anime, but most anime at least allows for some sort of semirealistic skull. Moving down, her boobs shouldn't be pressed together like that if she's leaning over unless her top is really constricting. From the way it's drawn, I take it it's not. They should be slightly lower and a bit looser. Sort of like this. (http://www.my-iguru.com/ipad/assets/images/ipad-wallpapers/babes/ipad-wallpaper-egyptian-goddess.jpg)

Also, I can't critique all of them exactly, but grab a reference photo of a person wearing the same type of clothing as you want your character wearing. Ink in the more prominent folds using your reference. As it is, it looks like you know where the folds should go, but aren't hitting the right look for them.

Bottom picture:

Her face isn't too far up, I don't think. If you were going for realism, that'd be closer to what you'd want. As it is, I think what you're seeing as awkward may be the way her human face and hair contrast with a mannequin's body.
Thanks for the CC, I see thanks, Ill try to redraw it like on that picture. As for my clothing model I have this http://cdn04.cdn.justjaredjr.com/wp-content/uploads/headlines/2010/09/selena-gomez-2010-vmas.jpg

Yeah I think you may be right, I may be able to fix that with colour, idk, Ill see where it takes me!

kamisoyokaze
06-18-2012, 04:55 PM
I tried changing the first on in order to meet critique how is it now?

http://i46.tinypic.com/6xx1yh.png

Matt
06-18-2012, 06:31 PM
The breasts are positioned better, but her forward lean looks abrupt, like her spine is curved 90 degrees at the middle of the ribs. I'll do a redline and see if I can explain it any better through drawing.

Here you go:
http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/7609/6xx1yhcritique.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/163/6xx1yhcritique.jpg/)
EDIT: Why does Imageshack always do this? Here's the text, since it's hard to read:
Urgh, this is a terrible redline. But I can make some observations with it.

Ignore the arm and hand. I did them wrong.

Her head was huge. It took boxing it in to see it, but you can see where I went from there.

You fixed the cleavage, but the heart of the problem was in her torso. For the angle it was bent, the tits and clavicles were much too high.

This bone is where the bulge in the hip starts. The skin and muscle above it spread to meet it.

Here, her hips were really, really wide considering the rest of her body. My redline retains the wide hips, but do you see how wide they look under the clothes even after I've reduced them? Protip: draw her naked first. If she looks wrong naked, she'll look wrong clothed. There's only so much you can hide.

Most drawing books tell you to rough in guidelines before committing yourself to anything. Well, do that. Your mannequin drawing is decent. Just superimpose a mannequin on any given one of your drawings. If the mannequin can't achieve the pose you have, a human probably can't.

Furthermore, if anything looks awkward on the mannequin, chances are it'll look awkward on a human as well.

kamisoyokaze
06-19-2012, 02:33 AM
The breasts are positioned better, but her forward lean looks abrupt, like her spine is curved 90 degrees at the middle of the ribs. I'll do a redline and see if I can explain it any better through drawing.

Here you go:
[URL=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/163/6xx1yhcritique.jpg/]

Thanks thats really useful! I actually enlarged the head :P I thought it was too small. I'll try to fix it based on your corrections, or i might just start again :) Cheers.

kamisoyokaze
06-20-2012, 03:37 AM
Right, seems as I have a problem with anatomy, I decided to get away from manga drawing for a bit and try to draw real people, so i get a sense of how they should look. Using this as my model http://characterdesigns.com/bandaid/content/tutorials/523/681/Photoset_040_2378.jpg I have started sketching it. I haven't done much yet but I have to go to college now and I was hoping I could get some CC for when I got back :) However I really couldn't get that perspective down so i ended up going off on a tangent and doing it from a much more basic perspective. If there are any tutorials on perspective or you have any tips, please fire them my way, I've read a few, but not really grasped it yet...

http://i49.tinypic.com/rtm5v9.jpg


EDIT:
Updated the last sketch

http://i49.tinypic.com/2z6awzq.jpg

EDIT AGAIN:
A sketch of a man holding a gun, I really tried with perspective here, how did it turn out?
http://i45.tinypic.com/2dvo1tf.jpg

Shadowsfade
06-21-2012, 01:56 PM
Wow that's some awesome foreshortening!!

For the picture above, I think the breasts look a little off in your edit, they looked better in the first one - i think it's to do with the angle you've made them come off the chest, they come off at quite an angle, and slope upwards, and when they're rejoining at the bottom, they shouldn't really curve upwards like that. Also, considering the angle of the rest of the body, I don't think you should be able to see both of them as much, the one closest to us should be covering most of the one furthest away.

Got some nice work here though!

kamisoyokaze
06-21-2012, 03:47 PM
Wow that's some awesome foreshortening!!

For the picture above, I think the breasts look a little off in your edit, they looked better in the first one - i think it's to do with the angle you've made them come off the chest, they come off at quite an angle, and slope upwards, and when they're rejoining at the bottom, they shouldn't really curve upwards like that. Also, considering the angle of the rest of the body, I don't think you should be able to see both of them as much, the one closest to us should be covering most of the one furthest away.

Got some nice work here though!

Cheers and thanks for the pointers :) I'll give fixing them a go :)

Also here's another one, the start to my zombie scene... I think this is enough of a sketch, so once ive fixed this up ill ink it on sai and colour it in...

http://i47.tinypic.com/23k6bsi.jpg

Sunny
06-21-2012, 10:00 PM
You have a good start with these sketches.

For the man with the gun: I'd pay a little more attention on how the body is put together. If you need to, look in the mirror and hold out your arm. See how your armpit looks and how your arm connects to your shoulder? The bottom of it should go in.

Also, take your fingers and look at your own body. How large is your arm? Where does your armpit start? The chest area is a bit up in regards to the armpit. I also think if the arm had been back a bit, you'd have more force of character in the picture. You could also make the hand a little more clenched.

The torse is really great and I really like the knees as well. The hand is pretty cool and well done as well.

kamisoyokaze
06-22-2012, 01:21 AM
You have a good start with these sketches.

For the man with the gun: I'd pay a little more attention on how the body is put together. If you need to, look in the mirror and hold out your arm. See how your armpit looks and how your arm connects to your shoulder? The bottom of it should go in.

Also, take your fingers and look at your own body. How large is your arm? Where does your armpit start? The chest area is a bit up in regards to the armpit. I also think if the arm had been back a bit, you'd have more force of character in the picture. You could also make the hand a little more clenched.

The torse is really great and I really like the knees as well. The hand is pretty cool and well done as well.

Thanks for the CC, Ill fix the armpit :) I didn't think of that at all :o Also What do you mean by "if the arm had been back a bit"? Cheers ^-^

kamisoyokaze
06-28-2012, 03:26 PM
I decided to try and make my own original character, so here we are... Meet Hanako, a closet sadist. On the left is her 'normal-mode' and on the right is her 'S-mode', her sadistic alter-ego.

http://i47.tinypic.com/f9qhzq.jpg

Demonfyre
06-28-2012, 03:37 PM
A sadistic alter ego whom is female, interesting :P your design looks good so far but in her normal mode you should make the axis on which the eyes are placed straight rather than curved as she is looking straight at the viewer. It also looks as if her eyes are pointing diagonally, maybe you could straighten them out so they are parallel with the horizon. Ignore this if this was deliberately done for your OC :) keep up your good work :)

kamisoyokaze
06-29-2012, 04:20 AM
A sadistic alter ego whom is female, interesting :P your design looks good so far but in her normal mode you should make the axis on which the eyes are placed straight rather than curved as she is looking straight at the viewer. It also looks as if her eyes are pointing diagonally, maybe you could straighten them out so they are parallel with the horizon. Ignore this if this was deliberately done for your OC :) keep up your good work :)


Cheers, I'll fix the eyes on the computer ^_^

JJJorgie
06-29-2012, 11:09 AM
Besides, what Demon said: The hands should be as big as the face (don't confuse the head with the face, though :) ). Also, the wrist should be a little thicker. In fact, if you made the whole arm a tad bit thicker, it'd look nice. :) Other than that good job! keep up the good work!

kamisoyokaze
06-29-2012, 06:31 PM
Besides, what Demon said: The hands should be as big as the face (don't confuse the head with the face, though :) ). Also, the wrist should be a little thicker. In fact, if you made the whole arm a tad bit thicker, it'd look nice. :) Other than that good job! keep up the good work!

Thanks for the cc, it really helps, not only with improving my past drawings but my new ones too, so it's appreciated :)

kamisoyokaze
06-30-2012, 01:27 PM
Improved on one of my past drawings according to cc + added a little more detail...

http://i49.tinypic.com/2l8c5dc.jpg

Demonfyre
06-30-2012, 01:31 PM
Looking good :) I would say watch out for the folds on the trousers at the leg bottoms and the knee area also you could put some folds around the top of the trousers as well, I suggest looking at some real life references and from Manga/Anime to help you :) you could also extend the ears up a bit so they're level with the top of the eye :)

JJJorgie
07-01-2012, 12:14 AM
This is looking good so far :) You could move the eyes more towards to center of the face, though. Remember, eyes only have a eye length between them. Also, the ears should be at eye height. Keep up the good work!

trilokcool3
07-01-2012, 02:25 AM
A little work on eyes bring them towards eachother (towards nose) try it.
Also work a bit on legs make it a bit anatomical.