Almanac's Ranobe. TheMachine

[AlmanacnamedTime]

Coming(completly) in June. Until then turn every tuesday and friday. Will have some illustrations.


EDIT:
The greatest dream of every supervillian from the comic books is to either take over or destroy the world. Every superhero's job is to save it. What if in reality, bad people were close to taking over the world, and someone else would snatch it from their grasp and destroy them? Who would then oppose the hero?


Here is the answer.


Turn 1 ('http://thealmanac.deviantart.com/#/d50ursa')
Turn 2 ('http://thealmanac.deviantart.com/art/TheMachine-Stage-1-Turn-2-303908293')
Turn 3 ('http://thealmanac.deviantart.com/art/TheMachine-Stage-1-Turn-3-305191024')
Turn 4 ('http://thealmanac.deviantart.com/art/TheMachine-Stage-1-Turn-4-305685977')
Turn 5 ('http://thealmanac.deviantart.com/art/The-Machine-Stage-1-Turn-5-306513950')
Turn 6 ('http://thealmanac.deviantart.com/art/TheMachine-Stage-1-Turn-6-307163778')

[AlmanacnamedTime]

sorry for the double post btw.

Stage 1:Turn 1

                                            Tu rn 1

Sedgwick walked down the street, purposely letting his steps make sound while trying to seem like he was failing at stealth. He reached up and scratched his nose under his blindfold. It wasn't that he couldn't see, it was that he hated people seeing his eyes as well as what was right beside them. He carefully surveyed as he walked making note of every fence and tree. His left hand was starting to drift close to his sword, until he checked the impulse.
Was that purple? Sedgwick grinned. "So you finally jacked up Nik." He said. "You stromfaki should have shot me before now." He could tell that there where at least three in front of him, and maybe more behind. <em>"Anthony, shoot those snipers before someone gets me distracted."</em> Sedgwick pleaded silently. It wouldn't matter how good he was if enough people shot at him, he would die.
The snipers prepared to shoot and Sedgwick put his feet in the ready position as he drew his sword. "Almanac," he managed to get out before the bullets started flying. He barely moved to the side and shouted "Himra!" while the bullets bounced of the sidewalk and a mailbox in front of one of the houses.
He was barely dodging the bullets that were flying at him even with the boosts provided by being Root. He noticed that the intervals in between shots were inconsistent with that of a snipers rifle.
<em>"Machine guns? Purple? Ahh crud."</em> He thought as he spun around barely raising his sword to block the oncoming swing of a sword from someone who had managed to sneak up on him.
"Almanac Scar." Sedgwick barely got out as he let go of his sword with his left hand and rammed it into his attackers face. He then turned his head away while his opponents head exploded. While looking for another target, he realized something, no longer just guns, but swords were in use by Nik's forces. Good thing that they seemed to not have hacked past Rob's little toy, or they would have attacked with the little friends that Sedgwick had figured out how to make, and that he was using now.
Bang! Sedgwick turned instinctively, even though if that shot was aimed at him, he would have died already. A flash of purple, and a thud coming from somewhere close to a building that had previously had a sniper on it.
"Sorry it took so long." Anthony's voice buzzed in his ear. "I had to leave some guys to your sister to get here this fast."
Sedgwick tapped his blindfold activating the communicator inside. "It's all good as long as none of our guys are dead, how many are riding my sister then?" He was moving around, hoping the snipers wouldn't get a bead on him.
"Last I saw, there were more there than here. I can take these guys." Anthony answered. Bang! And another thud
"Thanks man. Almanac Himra." Sedgwick looked around, <em>"Ahh purple over there."</em> he broke into a run toward it.
"Your welcome." Anthony replied. Bang! Another thud.



Sarah was running. Where was she running? Away from the gunshots, away from the hooded one with the sword who had rushed by. Away from the battles that raged across the place she used to call home, and away from those that killed her parents. Supplies were getting low, and it would be time to begin raiding the houses and stores close buy for some more food and clean water.
"AHHH!" The man in front of her had a gun in his hand. It was pointed at a hooded girl wearing a trenchcoat, and a sword like the hooded one from before, except her sword was on the left side instead of the right, and that she was kicking the gunman in front of Sarah in the face.
The gunman's face made a crunching sound as it was smashed in by the force of the girls foot which then swung back and knocked Sarah off her feet and into the dirt by a large tree. While by the tree Sarah was able to see that there were two other people who all had guns that they were trying to&#160;&#160;point at the girl. The girl however didn't seem at all worried, instead she bashed the closest one in the face with her left fist, and drawing her sword to decapitate the man she just hit. Then grabbing the gun from the dead man's hand, and jamming it into the next man's mouth.
"Shine!" The girls screamed with a face horribly contorted with rage, she pulled the trigger and the second man's brain exploded out of the back of his head splattering the woods around them with blood and gray matter. The girl spun on her heel, and as the third man finally pulled the trigger, she smoothly sidestepped and shoved her left elbow into his throat and then stabbed him in his right arm. He dropped his gun, smacked the sword the girl held out of her and and onto the ground. Then he held his throat and tried to step back out of the way, but the girl moved forward pulling out the sheath for her sword, and ramming it into his eye. A wordless scream of pain rent the air as the man's eye was smushed around the girl's sheath. The girl then moved forward and wordlessly crushed his windpipe with her free hand.
The fight over, the girl calmly walked over to her sword and picked it up. Then she walked over the first man and stabbed him in the chest. Trying to take this opportunity, Sarah got to her feet as quickly as she could, and broke into a run as she turned away from the girl with the sword.
As Sarah was in the act of running a sudden tug came from the back of her hood, and the next thing she knew she was flat on her back with one of the girls feet on her chest and the sword that had killed the gunmen at he throat.
"W-w-who a-are y-you?" Sarah asked voice shaking.
"I am Colonel Sandra Sedgwick of TheMachine," The girl replied, "Second in command to Machinist Commander David Sedgwick. Now, tell me who you are and who you are affiliated with. You don't have an accent, and dress like one of the Refused, but appearances can be deceiving." As she said this the girls face was completely blank, but her eyes and voice were filled with some sort of crazy passion, or maybe determination.
"M-my name is Sarah," Sarah answered gaining a bit of control over her voice as she did so. "What do you mean by Refused?"
"Sarah what?" Sandra answered ignoring her captives question.
"Hess." Sarah answered, finally gaining complete control of her voice.
"Alright Hess," Sandra said looking down at her. She then pulled the hood she had been wearing, revealing a headband with something that Sarah could not see at this angle. Sandra tapped the side of the headband and began talking."Anthony, Where's my brother?" Pause. "He's not." Pause. "OK, Sedgwick out. Hess I'm letting you up now. Stay within plain sight, and if you try anything I'll kill you. Do you understand?"
"Don't piss this bitch off, remember that." She told herself as she nodded to Sandra who took her foot of Sarah's chest. Sarah very slowly got up and kept her eyes on Sandra who had tapped her headband again.
Sandra was talking rapidly in what seemed was another language. Sarah caught a few things, such as what sounded like: "Neice-ma" and "Died Joe boo." Eventually she caught a word she knew, "Sayonara." after that was said, she looked at Sarah and said "He's coming."

&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;&#160;Tu rn 1, End

(there will eventually be one illustration per turn)

[Snooderflubbyguppy]

That one girl Sandra? she sounded badass!

[AlmanacnamedTime]

good.

[AlmanacnamedTime]

/double post again. sorry.
http://thealmanac.deviantart.com/art/TheMachine-Stage-1-Turn-2-303908293

just read it there. i think you need a DA, if you really want I will post it here as well.

[Demonfyre]

That one girl Sandra? she sounded badass!

^Haha couldn't agree more ^_^

It reads well so far :) keep it up!

[AlmanacnamedTime]

@fyre thanks.

Third Turn on DeviantArt. Too much of a pain to edit here. so read it right there->http://thealmanac.deviantart.com/art/TheMachine-Stage-1-Turn-3-305191024

[Snooderflubbyguppy]

what happend to the others????????

[AlmanacnamedTime]

what others? there were 4 people total.

[AlmanacnamedTime]

Double post again. I'll stop if people comment more.

Turn 4 ('http://thealmanac.deviantart.com/art/TheMachine-Stage-1-Turn-4-305685977')

[AlmanacnamedTime]

Now it's coming to triple posting. Come on guys. Are you afraid to read it?

Turn 5 ('http://thealmanac.deviantart.com/art/The-Machine-Stage-1-Turn-5-306513950')

[Regantor]

There is no point in getting passively aggressive about it, man. You haven't commented on anybody else's work, so naturally not many people felt like commenting on yours. But anyway.

I'll give you some in-depth imput here.

The first thing that strikes me is that you have a bit of a problem with descriptions. The way that you describe "The sword was the same color of the Fortress and Sedgwick's trenchcoat.", for instance, is kind of annoying, since you say it's generally "grey", but you never actually give us any proper source of reference for what kind of grey that even is. Light grey? Ocean grey? Charcoal grey?... In a similar fashion, the symbols on the sword are just general "symbols". There was more than one architectural style during the medieval era, too. The cannon fodder guys in the first chapter? Never even get a single clothing item described.

To fix that, you'd be better off at least using descriptive adjectives like arcane, imposing, or jagged, so that we can get some sort of a feel for what you are trying to portray.

Overall the characterizations seem okay I guess, but it is hard to tell exactly what their motivations are, or what they hope to achieve at this point.

I think it could get alot better with just one or two small tweeks, basically.

[AlmanacnamedTime]

I do read other's stuff, just too busy to do so lately. I get 30 seconds here and there.

As far as the book goes, thanks for reading, and for the feedback. I will remember the adjectives. Right now it's in draft 2 when I post it. Draft 1 I almost deleted forever.

[Snooderflubbyguppy]

hmmm......... interesting...........

[AlmanacnamedTime]

Turn 6 ('http://thealmanac.deviantart.com/art/TheMachine-Stage-1-Turn-6-307163778')