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Kenzieroo
10-06-2011, 09:41 PM
Come on, post a poem. You know you wanna. :cat_see:
So here is MINE!

~Mother Nature~

She has not forgotten
Nor forgiven
She flutters in the wind
She dances at every passer by
She gleams with every look you give
She wilts with every touch
She has not forgotten
Nor forgiven
Though we only touched
Once.

Kenzieroo
10-07-2011, 10:42 PM
You know you wanna :cat_see:
Don't be embaressed :cat_embaressed:
No one will make fun of jou!

:cat_rosy::cat_rosy::cat_rosy:

Hamachi
10-08-2011, 03:48 AM
Ooh, free verse. I think I'll quickly write something too.

Pure

I cut a white ribbon for you today
Twisting curls and tangled swirls
Coiling silk and summer pearls.

Hoping, like the lark that sings on winter's night,
Waiting, like the star that glows behind the clouds,
Dreaming, like the child that murmurs in my heart.

I cut a white ribbon for you today
To braid into your raven hair
And saw that you were gone.

Then I remembered
What was, and might have been.

Kenzieroo
10-08-2011, 12:16 PM
I like you poem, it's good. It takes a long time for me write a poem. Sometimes a random poem pops into my head, like this.

The childish twinkle in her eyes
Are full of surprise

The somberness of the night makes me remorse
And question why we had not sooner
Divorce

But the sweetness in her face
Makes me think we can collaborate.

It's poped in my head randomly, I don't really know what to make of it. Oh well.

Kenzieroo
10-08-2011, 06:56 PM
:cat_ehheh:
It seems like people on this thread are shy :cat_scared:
Oh well, I tryed.
:cat_sigh:

Hamachi
10-08-2011, 08:41 PM
I won stuff for poetry when I was in high school. Didn't want this to turn awkward so I posted something. xD

Kenzieroo
10-08-2011, 09:03 PM
I know heres anouther poems

"Bronze Like Gold"

Tall and short and rusted
You fill me with your ryhme
You shine like gold
You fill my soul
Your bronze like gold
Your mine.

Matt
10-08-2011, 10:20 PM
Ooh, poetry. My least favorite thing in creative writing class last year. My teacher even told us all NOT to try for rhymes. I'll give it a shot.

Lilacs:
A repugnant odor
Shameless beauty
Plucked by filthy hands
Hands drenched
in my blood
my sweat
my tears

Ten years'
memories adrift
in the ocean of loss
its waves tainted
with my blood
my sweat
my tears

I lay, defeated
in the bloody waves
And a new voice
prods past scars
and seals old scrapes

Dare I gamble again?
Dare I risk my heart?
Dare I accept this sweet smile?

I take the open hand
It smells of lilacs
of innocence, of beauty
of life, of hope

She is the last
to whom I bestow
My blood
my sweat
my tears

Shall I again be lost
in the sea of sorrow?
But for my heart
I do not fear
For it matters not
beside her soul

No revision. Couldn't even see more than 5 lines at a time. This is the kind of thing I'd only write with a lack of sleep and foggy contacts. I dress up a simple, shallow message that I have no experience in myself with amateur poetic language. It's a poem based on stereotypes, now that I think of it. I still haven't re-read it, because I know if I do, I'll probably delete it.

Kenzieroo
10-09-2011, 12:48 AM
No it's so amazing! :D

Fenn
10-09-2011, 07:14 PM
I hate, hate writing poems. But I love reading them. Weird, huh? I really liked "Gold."

Kenzieroo
10-09-2011, 07:34 PM
I like both

River flow
River go
Passes through my skin

The wind is up
Down it can go
The wind it goes

The forest waves
Up and down
The forest that is green

So fill me with your perfect ryhme
The meledy that calms the soul
The perfect harmony that you make
Is far to perfect to just take

Kenzieroo
10-09-2011, 07:43 PM
My eyes are black
In the sleepless night
My sigh full of chiping pain

My heart was burned
My brain was twisted
My soul purged in lightless days

Had I stayed at home for play
I might be normal today
My throughts where twisted
My dreams were black

In hope of light
I left my night
Only finding a worse place

No escape
Now I'm stuck with nothing
No luck

Now I am stuck

Kenzieroo
10-09-2011, 08:04 PM
The Cat
He's Back

His Silver tail
His Gray Eye's

What A Wonderful Creature

Do my eyes deseve me?
Is what I see the tuth?

I can not stand a lie
So tell me what to do.

Kenzieroo
10-09-2011, 10:21 PM
This is my word
Black

This is my soul
Black

This is my heart
Black

This is my thought
Black

This is my color
Black

This is my world
Black

Fenn
10-10-2011, 10:46 AM
Kenzieroo
Like Kangaroo
Is just so fun to say

As for this thread
Its far from dead
For yet another day

Kenzieroo
10-10-2011, 06:10 PM
I do like kangaroos, and elephants...

Kenzieroo
10-10-2011, 07:51 PM
Rivers, Black
Skies, Gray

Silver Tears,
Falling
Falling
Gone

Black Burning Bush
Ashes
Soot

Brown Gray Grass
Scattered Black
Moaning Hills

Soot Filled Mountains
Blackened Trees
Red-White Flame

Rubble
Char

Broken, Broken Toys
Scattered, blacken char
Broken

Vortex
Black Vortex
Heart and Soul
Gone

Cold
Windless
Lifeless
War

Kenzieroo
10-10-2011, 09:05 PM
The golden light it withers
Dieing in my hands

For what will become
Of the sun

The broken dome that
Surrounds are earth

The sun that weeps
This falls like rain

Splat
Splat
Splat

Darkness prevails
The light it will fall

Tick
Tick
Tick

The time passes
A birdís song fall

Light
There is non

Dark
Fills the sky

Tears shed
Twinkle if it could

No light
No light
Falling
Falling
Gone

Kenzieroo
10-10-2011, 09:33 PM
My World
My Dream

Flowers dance in the water

My World
My Dream

Purple Ribbion Siluet The Night Sky

My World
My Dream

Thick Pine Trees Aroma Fill The Air

My World
My Dream

Rivers Clear As Air Pass Me

My World
My Dream

All Kinds Of Childeren Play Together

My World
My Dream

Perfect Harmony

Kenzieroo
10-10-2011, 09:39 PM
Splat
Splat
Splat

Rain that fall
Streams the run
Oceans that Sing

Drip
Drip
Drip

How could water
So perfect
Be dirty

Brown-Yellow
Water that is forsaken

Is what we do right?
Not that I can see

Why turn are blind eye to it

Water
Water is are life
Are Soul

We weep its very essence

Water

Are blackened char broken
Left in the water

Water

Black and died

Water

Kenzieroo
10-10-2011, 09:42 PM
Had I seen you face
I would weep

Had I felt your love
I would weep

Had I heard you voice
I would weep

Had I learned to love
I would weep

Sorrow
Sorrow is what fills me
It is not until I find you
That I could learn to love

Kenzieroo
10-11-2011, 06:23 PM
Predator vs. Prey

Black Night
Cold Air

Silent Flying of the Owl
Predator verses Prey

Watch for the Night Owl
Little Mice

Watch for the Night Owl
You could be his in one fell swoop

Black Night
Cool Air

Silent Flying of the Owl
Preditor verses Prey

Delphinus
10-20-2011, 12:23 PM
POEMS - SO EMO THAT I'LL POST ONE

Near the oregano
Under the octopi
An aged king will cry
His bearded face of woe
Dripping chocolate delight
And lighting up the night

EDIT - ANOTHER SENSATIONAL PIECE

I wrote a dozen poems
Each worse than the last
Then tired of emo hymns
I raised a silly mast
It made my vessel float;
This is the poem I wrote.

EDIT 2 - I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE PUT MORE NAUTICAL IMAGERY INTO THE OPENING LINES OF THAT SECOND ONE

Kenzieroo
10-20-2011, 06:05 PM
I like you're poems.


Black Fog
Zero Vision

Tears falling as red as the cold blood that flow from my friends

Deep is the red river
Dark is the sky black fog filled

Red Yellow Orange
The new grass
Trees
Flowers

Flat are the cars
Silver leaves cover the roads

Crumpled Mountains
Fallen Sky
Sunken Oceans

Black Fog
Zero Vision

Tears falling as red as the cold blood that flow from my friends

Delphinus
10-22-2011, 09:44 AM
Baby baby baby baby baby
Baby baby baby baby baby
Baby baby baby baby baby
Baby baby baby baby baby

I really love iambic pentameter.

I feel this is the best work I've ever produced.

Hamachi
10-22-2011, 10:22 AM
Are you responsible for Friday?

Delphinus
10-22-2011, 11:07 AM
Of course I'm not, I write formal poetry, not free verse.

If we analyse the lyrics of Friday we find that it lacks any semblance of formality and is written in no classically recognised metre. Take the chorus, for example:

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Firstly, we find it follows a AABAAB rhyme scheme, where the rhymes are created by simply repeating the word that came before. Certain literary critics would claim this makes the rhymes somehow inferior to a more varied rhyme scheme, but I disagree. While it could be argued to be laziness on behalf of the writer, it doesn't necessarily render the rhymes clumsy or inadequate.

Now, onto the metre of Friday. I'll highlight stressed syllables in red and leave unstressed syllables black. I'll also insert dashes between syllables in polysyllabic words.

It's Fri-day, Fri-day
Got-ta get down on Fri-day
Every-bod-y's look-in' for-ward to the week-end, week-end
Fri-day, Fri-day
Get-tin' down on Fri-day
Every-bod-y's look-in' for-ward to the week-end

As we can see, the pattern of red is irregular. Compare that to my verse, and you'll find that each second syllable is stressed (from the first syllable, making it technically trochaic pentameter) in much the same way as in Shakespeare's work. I'll illustrate below, first with my poem, then with an excerpt from Shakespeare (who uses iambic pentameter, here ending with a weak final syllable).

Ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by
Ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by
Ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by
Ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by

To be, or not to be, that is the ques-tion:

Kyokatsu
10-22-2011, 01:06 PM
Here's one that I wrote.

Loveless


Because the world does not love.
It sheds no tears and cries no rivers,
It does not gaze calmly at the night above,
But instead emits briefly its sullen shivers.

The solemn sky erodes to sickness,
Its puttering spits gnaw the lonely life,
The eyeless stars becomes no witness,
To the empty world`s loveless strife.

The blatant black sea closes its mouth,
Its tranquil waves abusively shove,
And all shall whimper, scream, and doubt,
That the world does no longer love.

Fenn
10-22-2011, 01:36 PM
Here's one that I wrote.

Loveless


Because the world does not love.
It sheds no tears and cries no rivers,
It does not gaze calmly at the night above,
But instead emits briefly its sullen shivers.

The solemn sky erodes to sickness,
Its puttering spits gnaw the lonely life,
The eyeless stars becomes no witness,
To the empty world`s loveless strife.

The blatant black sea closes its mouth,
Its tranquil waves abusively shove,
And all shall whimper, scream, and doubt,
That the world does no longer love.

Beauiful. Well done.

Kenzieroo
10-23-2011, 06:20 PM
Omg, best poem ever.

Kyokatsu
10-27-2011, 09:45 PM
thanks! (:

Kenzieroo
10-28-2011, 07:40 PM
Silver stems on broken roses
A black cat waits sits and poses

Rain that cry's
Black bird that dives

The aroma of death under are noses

Hant_iiha_cohacomxoj
11-13-2011, 11:05 PM
Ooh, poetry. My least favorite thing in creative writing class last year. My teacher even told us all NOT to try for rhymes. I'll give it a shot.

Lilacs:
A repugnant odor
Shameless beauty
Plucked by filthy hands
Hands drenched
in my blood
my sweat
my tears

Ten years'
memories adrift
in the ocean of loss
its waves tainted
with my blood
my sweat
my tears

I lay, defeated
in the bloody waves
And a new voice
prods past scars
and seals old scrapes

Dare I gamble again?
Dare I risk my heart?
Dare I accept this sweet smile?

I take the open hand
It smells of lilacs
of innocence, of beauty
of life, of hope

She is the last
to whom I bestow
My blood
my sweat
my tears

Shall I again be lost
in the sea of sorrow?
But for my heart
I do not fear
For it matters not
beside her soul

No revision. Couldn't even see more than 5 lines at a time. This is the kind of thing I'd only write with a lack of sleep and foggy contacts. I dress up a simple, shallow message that I have no experience in myself with amateur poetic language. It's a poem based on stereotypes, now that I think of it. I still haven't re-read it, because I know if I do, I'll probably delete it.

even if you have no exp it sure sounds like it:cat_thumbsup:

Hant_iiha_cohacomxoj
11-13-2011, 11:31 PM
i think ill have a go at this

The trees are all cold lost their colors
and the snow falls slow
he lost the only person that ever gave a dam
,to them. The grass is black and the heat is a wall
the sky is black and the heat is a wall but he does not feel the heat
.People are screeming inside the church and out. The look on his face is one ill never forget.
"I was told there was a god, where WHERE IS YOUR GOD!!!!!! as it falls apart not hell nor heaven Intervenes
and the sad truth is seen in mine eyes alone for humans are scared little things that cling to being happy even if that means the real truth is gone." I learned NO GOD that day, that only man can do what he wants no god will ever give him victory no god will hear his voice no god will save his skin or bless him and to change the world man has to do something, good or bad or neither. There is no god he said to me as the flames engulfed the cross.

Kenzieroo
11-21-2011, 06:54 PM
I went to the beach a few weeks ago, I was staring at the fire.

'Fire'

Fire is our light
Light to soul


Sparks are the daring
Bold in their travels

Smoke is the masses
Never straying far from others

Coal is the warm of heart
Loving and caring to all

Wood is the ldealists
Continuing the fire

Fire is idea
As long as ideas forum fire burns

Fire is light
Light to soul

T1B3R1U5
12-30-2011, 01:33 PM
I'm not that really good at poems and the only thing I can do is Free Verse. Plus, I only make "dark" or "foreboding" poems. :/ sucks for me, eh?

-Phoenix Down-
After what has taken over me
Will I ever find
What drives me
To this insane edge between whats right
And what should not be touched
In the ashes of my own battle
I shall be reborn again
Rising from the ashes
To cast aside what was and what should have never been
And becoming something new
Just to do it all over again

Kenzieroo
12-30-2011, 01:47 PM
My best poems take all of one minute to make, it's like someone just puts it in my brain.

Emi_Higurashi
01-04-2012, 05:17 PM
Poems are not my strongest point but I would like to try, Maybe I'll look for one that I did recently and post it on here, if it's alright with Kenziero :) Sorry but I'm also a very anti-social person.

Kenzieroo
01-05-2012, 08:30 PM
Everyone's there own person, whatever floats your boat Emi.

Emi_Higurashi
01-06-2012, 04:38 PM
(Awesome, Thank you. Oh and here is one I did just near halloween, didn't think I'd find something so creepy...I think.)
NIGHTMARES
CoffeeAdict16 (Emi)
Night has its dark powers a brewing.
I can’t see thy friends any longer.
Ghouls and goblins take thy friends to a dark territory.
Hear thy screams from miles away.
Tall shadows lurk every corner of the forest.
Many friends and families cry for thy help.
Apparitions visit thy living.
Reapers come for the next soul.
Eternal nightmares stay with thee forever.
Sweet slumber no more.

Kenzieroo
01-06-2012, 10:13 PM
I like it, A+ :D

Emi_Higurashi
01-07-2012, 05:38 AM
(Awesome! Thanks, I feel like the nerd I am lol.)

Delphinus
01-07-2012, 07:34 AM
I dream of freedom;
Shooting the wind in a fast car.

See if you can figure out the secondary meaning!

trilokcool3
01-07-2012, 08:07 AM
'' i wanna make a manga,
but i can't make a manga,
because i am still a baka. ''

'' oh god please help me ,
from the world of anime,
because they drive me crazy.

Thats it . My first poem i ever wrote .

Kenzieroo
01-07-2012, 08:57 PM
No offense but I don't like your poem, but I bet my first poem was like that but I don't remember it.

Emi_Higurashi
01-12-2012, 03:32 PM
The Rose that Bleeds
CoffeeAdict16 (Emi Leigh)
Like a lilac,
It’s flawless beauty shine in the sun.
At night,
When the moon is full,
And the demons of the shadows appear,
The rose cries,
A dark ruby’s liquid,
Drips from its core,
The rose that bleeds

(I personally think that there is absolutely no point in this poem, but it's only one got, and I'd rather I get some inspiration from someone.)

Sylux
01-12-2012, 06:35 PM
The Rose that Feed

Syrux D-rux

Like a lilly,
It's stupid and smells bad with heat.
At night,
When the moon is empty,
And the people are all asleep,
I smash peoples' gardens,
A clear running liquid,
Drips from its limp body,
The rose that got fed a knuckle sandwich

(I personally think I want to play Mass Effect 2 again, but my mom could be here at any moment, and I'm grounded.)

Emi_Higurashi
01-13-2012, 01:26 PM
@Sylux
Did you make that poem just for laughs? lol It's much cooler than mine!

The Black Hearse
When I see it coming by,
I visualize you inside,
What a quaint, happy thought,
I must say,
But to you it's insane!
I'd love to see you in a coffin,
Driven by a Black Hearse
(So so, creepy, I hate it when I listen to a song that has the word "Hearse" Coffin" and "Vampire" ^_^)

Sylux
01-13-2012, 05:15 PM
Ya I just made it 4 teh lulz

Emi_Higurashi
01-13-2012, 07:55 PM
@Sylux
You could've been the brother of Edgar Allen Poe who has laughs on life and Edgar be the one who has serious mental problems. Not hating on him or anything, just his poems and stuff are really scary and mostly from the nightmares you create in the back of your mind.. must be why I like him... Oh well.

These Wounds
CoffeAdict16
There are times when I inflict pain on my arms,
where you once bruised and slit.
I'd let my tears aimlessly fall for you,
Even though you said you'd have nothing to do with me.
My biggest fear was you coming back to me,
But the worst of it all was I'd be happy to see you.
(Sorry it's so lame and depressing, I had to listen to my friends dumb song replay over and over again...How sad huh?)

Mistrus
01-16-2012, 11:13 PM
Here are a few poems I wrote when I was I think 17 so two year ago.

The Rhythm
Your hips sway
Your feet move
Your hands wave
Your fingers groove

You slide across the floor
-your hands in the air
Your body moving to a beat
-that isn’t there

The dance of your heart
The song of your soul
Both part of a rhythm
-your body must hold

A snap of your fingers
A clap of your hands
Do what the rhythm tells you
-before the glass runs out of sand

With a stamp of your foot
And a twirl on your toes
Behold to the world
-the rhythm your body has told

I’m Scared
I’m scared to love
I’m scared to lose
I’m scared of life
I’m scared of you

I’m scared of what you think
I’m scared of what you see
I’m scared of what you feel
-when you look at me

I’m scared of my future
I’m terrified of my past
I fear my present
-even though it won’t last

I’m scared of the dreams
-that won’t come true
I’m scared of the goals
-that I won’t pass through

I’m scared of the time
-that is passing so fast
I’m scared of the people
-that are fading into the past

I’m scared to feel
-this emotion called love
I’m scared to care
-about the people I’m part of

I’m scared to think
-about what’s ahead
I’m scared to hear
-the part of the future that remains unsaid

I’m scared to love
I’m scared to lose

I’m scared of life

I’m scared of…. you

No
Sometimes I feel broken
No, don’t try and fix me
If I am broken
-just let me be

My past is mine
No, that you can’t see
I’m perfectly fine
-so don’t touch me

I have secrets
No, I won’t tell
If you ask me again
-I’ll tell you ‘go to hell’

I have my flaws
No, I won’t point them out
If you are going to act like a child
-then scream and shout

I have my quirks
No, they are perfectly fine
If you don’t stop asking me questions
-this will keep wasting your time

I want some peace
No, I won’t go to war.
If you don’t like my opinion
-there’s the door

I have something to say
No, it’s completely true
If you aren’t going to listen
-then let me go through

I want you to know
No, let me finish
If you stop with the questions
-you’ll get that wish

I hate you for the things you have done

You’ve made me cry
You’ve made me run

You’ve made me break
The damage is done

I don’t care what you say
I don’t care what you think

I’m tired of these antics
I’m tired of these games
You and I both know the results are the same

I call you stupid
You call me a whore
I call you an idiot
You walk out with a slam of the door

But take care to remember this
-when you see me in these halls

I hate you for the things you have done

You’ve made me cry
You’ve made me run

You’ve made me break
The damage is done.

Don’t
Don’t pretend you love me
-or act like you care
I’m not stupid
-and I saw you there

Don’t you lie
-don’t you dare
I gave you my heart
-I told you I cared

Don’t act hurt
-you’re perfectly fine
Your heart is whole
-what about mine?

Torn to pieces
-and scattered across the floor
You don’t care
-you don’t want me anymore

Don’t say it
-because it‘s not true
You made it perfectly clear
-when that girl left with you

Don’t talk
-this is goodbye
Don’t drive by my house
-with excuses to stop by

So don’t pretend you loved me
-or act like you cared
I’m certainly not stupid
-and I no longer care

Go live your life
-alone and unloved
I’ll stay with him
-the one you shoved

Because he called you out
-and told you to think
Unlike you he actually cares
-now I’ll leave you to drink

Strings
I’m sitting here with my strings in loops around me.
Locked in a dark box.

I’m lifeless.
I’m silent.

There is no puppet master to hold me up.
No puppet master to make me dance.
No puppet master at all.

I wonder.
For the merest or moments, what it would be like with no strings.
To not be pulled upright against my will.
Not to be made to dance like the puppets around me.
Not to say things that I don’t want to.

I wondered.
I pondered.
I had no answer.

So, I sit lifeless and silent in my locked box.
Waiting for the puppet master to make me dance.

But once again, the thought is there.
Making me wonder.
Making me ponder.

No strings.
No puppet master.
No dancing.

I wonder and I feel my stiff face break into a smile.
Why, it would be wonderful.

To run on my own.
To not run in place.
To dance when I wanted.
To pull my own strings.

But then the box is unlocked and I’m no longer lifeless.
The puppet master pulls on my strings.

Making me run.
Making me dance.

Tugging on the strings harshly when I resist.
He shouts rough words.
I’m hesitant at my steps.

He shouts.
Telling me to listen to what he says.

Dance!
Run!

He shouts.

Dance!
Run!

He shouts.
Dance! Run! Dance! Run! Dance!Run!Dance!Run!Dancerundancerundancerundancer un!

STOP!
I shout.

My body is jerked to a painful stop and I tug on my strings.
No more strings.

I tug harder and all the strings snap.

They loop around me.
Laying on the ground.
Lifeless.

I stretch my unfamiliar limbs.
They creak and groan.
But they sing the song of freedom.
I feel the song course through my body.

The puppet master is finally silent.
Watching me.
Waiting.

I smile.
And I run.

My body is soft.
No more wooden steps.

I run under the blue sky.
No more locked boxes.

I stop and lie down in the soft grass and watch the sky.
No more puppet master.

I look at my hands and I smile.

No.

More.



Strings…

Cursed
In this night of birth
On the eve of spring
In joyless mirth
The black bird sings.

One girl wanders
Lost and alone
A crown that ponders
On an empty throne

A foot in both worlds
One must choose
With golden curls
A kingdom to lose

A choice of fate
The time at hand
Its gleaming gate
Its glowing sand

It’s too late
The sands are done
By the will of fate
The change has begun

A test in love with deadly rings
A loss of self within a day
All the while a black bird sings
Will she go or will she stay

I know some of them make me want to roll my eyes and grimace but I wrote them and I can't erase that fact. It keeps me humble.

T1B3R1U5
01-20-2012, 05:00 PM
o.o I think Mistrus's stuff is awesome....<_< I better not be alone in that opinion cuz if I am...>_< well thanks

Emi_Higurashi
01-20-2012, 05:26 PM
I actually agree to that, not because I'm trying to save your arse, but because I actually thought that it really was good. And I may as well post a new poem (And don't laugh! I'm not an ass-kisser, I just write like one.)

Mother
CoffeeAdict16
My mother is the goddess of light to me,
She makes me happy, when she smiles,
She puts up with me, even though I tend to tick her off.
She loves me lots, she knows me well,
I love both my parents more than anything in the world,
But I love my mom more than you can imagine.
She’s the greatest cook, making delicious stuff.
She always put in her love and effort to make me happy.
When I was little and sick she was a super mom,
When I was hurt, she came to my rescue,
When I was in trouble, she made sure I did the right thing
These are just a few of the reasons why I love my Mother.

Delphinus
01-20-2012, 06:38 PM
Guys those poems aren't good and you should stop being a hugbox

EDIT: and the poem above is not very good, it's just prose formatted differently, it makes no use of anything resembling poetic structure or technique and uses the language in completely the wrong way - no rhythm, no structure, no imagery, no emotional impact - and to top it off it's sentimental and expresses nothing unique or even particularly creative.

This thread could use more constructive criticism, and if you can't give constructive criticism then commenting on people's poems is a pointless exercise. Saying 'it sucks' or 'it's great' are equally useless, and the only purpose to the latter is to massage egos. Please don't defile the noble poetic tradition like this

Kodos
01-20-2012, 06:49 PM
Del could word things a bit nicer (do watch it) but yeah. I myself am a sworn enemy of meter and rhyme, and generally am not a fan of poetry, so I'm not really able to help much, but I can recognize some of these poems could definitely use some work. I am certainly not in a position to go about helping, but I imagine Del might be able and willing to help if anyone is willing to listen.

Just sayin'.

Mistrus
01-21-2012, 12:31 AM
Del, I know the poems aren't the best however those two seem to like them. We can't change that. Could you tell me what you found wrong with my poems, just general curiosity and maybe a bit of masochism on my part but lay it out there for me. Tell me exactly what you think is wrong with them.

I know the rhyming is simplistic and a bit childish and the structure is awkward and strange but still go ahead! Tear it apart! lol I need a good lashing critique. Keeping humble and what not.

T1B3R1U5
01-23-2012, 03:26 PM
I am a bit disturbed by Mistrus' post but xD who cares. And as for the poems that have no meter or rhythmic scheme, well aren't fucking experts, Are we? And how the fuck are we gonna remember each scheme or meter? I aint gonna be remembering that crap while I write a poem. I use creativity, which in someone's somewhat realistic and somewhat annoying, isn't the way to go. (Of course, it aint but...) Anyways, I'mma shut up now X.X

Kenzieroo
01-26-2012, 08:22 PM
I liked you poems Mistrus, my favorite being Scared.

Delphinus
01-28-2012, 06:45 AM
...as for the poems that have no meter or rhythmic scheme, well aren't fucking experts, Are we? And how the fuck are we gonna remember each scheme or meter? I aint gonna be remembering that crap while I write a poem. I use creativity, which in someone's somewhat realistic and somewhat annoying, isn't the way to go. (Of course, it aint but...) Anyways, I'mma shut up now X.X

I don't think you're thinking about this the right way. Meter and rhyme are tools; they give poetry a repeated structure. You write prose in sentences and paragraphs, and in a similar way you write poetry according to a meter and rhyme scheme. Now, there are types of poetry that abandon both of them, but, according to Robert Frost, a famous poet: ""Poetry without rhyme is like tennis without a net". The same applies with meter. While neither rhyme nor meter are necessary in writing a poem, it's probably best to learn the formal structures before attempting to deviate from them, in the same way as with visual art and realism: you have to learn the rules before you can break them.

In regards to "not being fucking experts", if you want to write good poetry, you ought to read and study it. Which would make you an expert. Not as much of an expert as a literature professor, but an expert nonetheless. It doesn't seem like just writing poetry without paying attention to other poets would make you improve at all - you'd have nothing to judge yourself against, you'd have to be the progenitor of dozens of techniques that have already been invented, and you'd be unable to use cross-textual references to evoke particular images.

Kenzieroo
01-28-2012, 08:07 AM
Generally I think poems need a strong rhythm and meaning behind the words.
I'm no expert and I haven't studied (I'm busy studying the ocean at the moment) but I really enjoy poety.

Delphinus
01-28-2012, 12:38 PM
Generally I think poems need ... meaning behind the words.

This is it. You should definitely keep on, I was just addressing Tiberius's post.

Kenzieroo
01-28-2012, 05:20 PM
Ive been trying to write songs of my poems, but I'm not having any luck.

Mistrus
01-28-2012, 10:21 PM
Generally Kenzieroo, for me at least, is to pick a topic that hits close to home. Like with my poems. Each one has a different meaning, at least they did to me when I wrote them. So I based them off of what they would mean and then just let the creativity flow. I know with a good portion of them, it took me weeks to finish them. I'd get stuck and move on before having an epiphany and coming back.

No one can teach you how to get into the swing of things. They can give you the tools to use but how you use them or how you create the poems is entirely up to you.

Del! Critique my poems! LOL I need a good lashing critique, I was serious when I asked. I've been getting comments (Not you guys! IRL) about how nice the poems are and how nice the writing style is but I haven't gotten any scathing reviews that tear it apart and leave it bare. Those are wonderful to get.

T1B3R1U5
01-29-2012, 05:52 AM
Like a Eng. 101 class critique? Sorry, I aint that good at stuffs like that, and thanks for clarifying that Del. And since looking back at my other post, I was looking at the situation wrong. So again, thanks...

Kenzieroo
01-29-2012, 03:10 PM
My best poems take me all of 5 minutes to make if I try hard it's mangled and gross.

Emi_Higurashi
02-27-2012, 06:23 PM
"I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place,
Don't get me wrong,
It ain't that fact that I love,
Every simple word,
Every little breath that I feel on my neck,
And every little thing that she does,
Makes her seem so much better,
In the end There are only three things to say,
Three simple word,
That seem to make up for everything,
Those three simple words,
I love you."
(Okay I got this from a friend, and I'm sure if he saw it he'd be blushing like a mad man right now hehe, but yeah it's a very simple but sweet poem, I think I memorized it correctly.)

T1B3R1U5
02-27-2012, 06:29 PM
O.o and who is this man who sent you this poem of yours...? xD lolz >x3

Emi_Higurashi
02-27-2012, 06:39 PM
Why you ask Zero? You gunna get jealous? xD jk

T1B3R1U5
02-27-2012, 06:45 PM
No, cuz I'm talking to the guy right now and x3 hes jealous xD lolz jk

Emi_Higurashi
02-27-2012, 06:51 PM
Ugh.....Next time I get another poem, I'm going to change it and make it dark and menacing.

Kenzieroo
03-01-2012, 06:34 PM
I took this 'test'. (For the sake of a name that's what I'll call it.)
it gave me a huge list of jobs I'd be good at one was poet.
Here's a part of the list.

Design
Artist
Commercial Photographer
Barber/Hairdresser
Fashion Designer
Graphic Illustrator
Interior Designer

Entertainment
Actor/Actress
Composer, Arranger
Musician
Poet

Education
Teacher
Counsellor
Historian