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View Full Version : neeD Help , need help plz plz REPLY 2 ME



trilokcool3
09-30-2011, 09:33 PM
OK here ARE SOME manga pages that m making ....PLZ HELP ME IMPROVE IT
plzzzzzzzzzzzz....

trilokcool3
09-30-2011, 09:38 PM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/10/trilokcool3-mecha-wars.jpg?t=4e866c9bd7cc7.jpg
OK HERE IT GOES .....
so till now i was jst designing characters but i now feel tat i should also specialize in making special effects and i am damn BAD AT IT.
SO plz anyone can tell me hw i am gonna put some DETAILS IN THESE BACKGROUND EFFECTS and surroundings . if you want you can JST DOWNLOAD IT AND SHOW TO ME HERE .
ALSO m bad at representing some SFX( sounds) in manga so help wit tat too.

trilokcool3
09-30-2011, 09:44 PM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/08/trilokcool3-manga-page-1-2.jpg?t=4e866fcf96a2b.jpg
heres another page . and i completed it ... jst wanna know if more can be done on it or no... plz help wit tis too

ram
09-30-2011, 10:04 PM
what software ya using?

trilokcool3
09-30-2011, 10:33 PM
its manga studio ex 4 for sketches, microsoft paint for dialog box , photoshop cs5 for some effects ....
tats it

ClockHand
09-30-2011, 11:05 PM
I don't understand how should I read this.

trilokcool3
09-30-2011, 11:16 PM
ITS SOMEWHERE in middle of the page so GEL'S (top ones) dialog comes first. then the below ones....
but if u want you can read the below ones nd then the top ones....(IF U LIKE)
I AM NOT BOTHERED ABOUT THE DILOGS JUST tell me how can i improve more in presentation of drawings , special effects. SFX's etc
plz......

ram
09-30-2011, 11:17 PM
ok first the only thing you need is to study how to draw backgrounds, know how to shade some polygons and make them look like a destroyed rock or something.

and second, don't make too many things happening in only one panel,

you should've made a panel with the guy talking while holding his phone,
then next panel the guy throws his phone, while the guy saying on the phone wait
another panel a rocket launching
and another last panel the guy with an awesome pose meeting his end.

you just made all those into just one panel where it should be 4 or 5 scenes. which is why it's difficult to understand.

ClockHand
09-30-2011, 11:21 PM
ITS SOMEWHERE in middle of the page so GEL'S (top ones) dialog comes first. then the below ones....
but if u want you can read the below ones nd then the top ones....(IF U LIKE)
I AM NOT BOTHERED ABOUT THE DILOGS JUST tell me how can i improve more in presentation of drawings , special effects. SFX's etc
plz......

I wasn't talking about the dialogues. I was talking about which frame should I see first and which second. I don't know the order on how it should be read this.

Please, could you write a littler bit better? Is hard for me to understand you.

trilokcool3
09-30-2011, 11:27 PM
omg .... I AM STILL A NOOB...:(
OK then i will define it more later. Actually i only designed the character, later on i made some dialog boxes.
OK TO THE MAIN POINT
yeah i got tat i can make those rocks but i dont know how to detail it. IT WILL BE BETTER IF YOU SHOW ME HOW TO DRAW .

trilokcool3
09-30-2011, 11:29 PM
oh sorry about that ...
its from LEFT TO RIGHT ...

ClockHand
09-30-2011, 11:44 PM
Ok, under that logic, I just don't understand the events.

The big problem, as Ramiel has pointed, is your narration through images. Your first big image is a mash-up of many events in a same picture, while the other are just 4 events that can't be read because by the idea of "tell, don't show", it just show a guy and a paper with a bat mark. I don't see him picking it up, I don't see him making a expression related to the paper, and so on.

Narration in any story is about: Show, Judge and Tempo. In the first image there are a lot of things going on, and there is only one tempo (one image), and in the other page, you see 4 images (4 tempos) but are not related through a visual narrative.

trilokcool3
10-01-2011, 12:02 AM
ok then i will try modify it. wat about the SPECIAL EFFECTS ND SURROUNDINGS . hw am i gonna detail it

ram
10-01-2011, 02:26 AM
http://i4.mangareader.net/mahou-sensei-negima/319/mahou-sensei-negima-2064591.jpg
this might be too extreme but this is the type of rocks that I'm talking about, shade the bottom one with darker shadows and shade the top one with the lither shadow, well you'll probably get by just looking at this. and the other effects are just based on tones and speedlines and stuffs

try making a rock the same as what you see with those.
I don't know how to teach you these but it's mostly just learned through observation, try watching anime like naruto or bleach where you see destroyed places and towns, (don't go reference their manga cause mangakas usually hurry up to finish their work because of their deadlines and stuffs and that's the main reason why I don't go for reference for manga as well)

hope this helps

arsland
10-01-2011, 03:43 AM
hey in my opinion i think ur a bit weak in curves and curls of clothes also

trilokcool3
10-02-2011, 09:13 PM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/10/trilokcool3-manga-attempt.jpg?t=4e890a83a6671.jpg
so anything improvement happened .... or its jst the same ..????
help me wit this too plz

ram
10-03-2011, 10:43 PM
shade the ground as well dude. well your probably did that but it the color you used makes it look like water than cement or earth,
unless it is water.
oh and did I mention that your lines are too thick

trilokcool3
10-03-2011, 10:51 PM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/10/trilokcool3-manga-page-1-1-2.jpg?t=4e8a6cc8d7c18.jpg
OK HERE this took me 4hrs............... so
help wit this too..............

trilokcool3
10-03-2011, 10:56 PM
its from left to right ....
sorry about the 2nd nd 3rd panel it got attached.... sorry about the 4th panel coz i dont know how to show effects of a bullet coming outa a gun.............
@rameil
ha ha sure its looking like water perhaps i should take dark shades for that
nd yes do i have to make my lines a little bit of thin , so i will do it nxt time.

ClockHand
10-05-2011, 01:53 PM
First of all, why do you write like that? I have a lot of problems understanding what you are saying.
Second, the weight of the line will depend on the purpose and style of the draw.
Third, the size of the frames are very confusing, even if it should be read from left to right (why are you doing this?), having a big frame, then a small, then a even bigger and then a even BIGGER makes the relation between those pretty confusing.

ram
10-05-2011, 02:40 PM
yeah lol, don't know about narrators, actually i never read a manga or a comic with narrators. so it might just be me.

ClockHand
10-05-2011, 02:43 PM
There is always a narrator, the difference is that in one, the narrator tells what is happening and in the other the narrator SHOWS what is happening.

Halo
10-05-2011, 07:05 PM
...Okay, firstly, isn't there a rule about gratuitous txt speak somewhere? This is just ridiculous.
You obviously have better grammar and typing skills than what you show in your posts, because you are fairly literate in the pages, so why not use that in at least the title? If you want people to take your request for help seriously, try typing in a more professional manner. I can hardly read what you're saying.

Now, onto your request... What use is good art when you're making a comic? A comic is a perfect blend of art and storytelling... It is not just art. If your art was Takeshi Obata level, no one would read if they couldn't understand what was going on!

Good art is for illustrators... Even then, they need other skills as well. A person standing there looking at the screen is boring, no matter how nice the art is.

You really need to work on your paneling. It doesn't flow with the actions at all... And some panels are randomly connected inside bigger panels, which is just awkward. Look at the negi page ram posted before- every separate view is a separate panel, some of which are intersecting (because that's okay, though shonen likes to stay away from diagonals and intersects often).
Also, they need neatening. They're a little unclean.

Then, this is really lacking the action it needs. You need more emphasis lines... When he moves out of the way of the bullet (or it misses him, I can't really tell, I'm going off the not-surprised facial expression), there needs to be something that shows HIS movement at this time. His hair, motion lines... The bullet itself is done well, though.
But when it's shot, that really needs a lot more emphasis.

Also, when he notices the bullet, rather than a large exclamation mark, maybe... Well, using the Negi page again, the creator uses a small spiky bubble to represent eyes/head suddenly flicking to a location. Generally, subtleties are better than obvious dialogue. You could still put an exclamation mark there, but it may be better as a small dialogue bubble.

Speaking of dialogue, you might wanna do that in Photoshop with a nicer font (anime ace, action man, there's quite a few "for comic" fonts around). You have Manga Studio, so maybe dialogue boxes in that, and text in Photoshop? I'm not familiar with the functions of each, but the bad quality bubbles and text kinda weird me out. Be sure to plan in the bubbles while drawing, by the way, they're part of the art, too. They can't cover anything important and it must be easy for our eyes to tell which one to go to.

The sound effects aren't bad. Not bad at all.
The backgrounds are okay, but sometimes randomly disappear when they could still be there.
as for your art, all I can really say now is study, study, study. Proportions and anatomy are a little out of whack.

Sorry for the textwall and bluntness. OTL

EDIT: Bolded parts for easier reading.

trilokcool3
10-05-2011, 10:38 PM
WHAT !!!!!! m dead ... may be i am rushing blindly. WORKING ALONE IS TOUGH WORK ....
what is MANGA if it is not understandable....
MAY BE I SHOULD DRAW SOMETHING BY LOOKING SOME videos nd SNAPSHOT THOSE ACTIONS nd represent it in a page. this might help....
@halo
m planning to make a page from a video i think this might solve every problem that u have mentioned.
till then wait..............

Halo
10-05-2011, 10:42 PM
I actually meant to at some point compare it to a movie in regards to techniques, so that wouldn't be a bad idea if I'm reading that right.

But next time you post, I swear I will ragequit if I see a three letter word spelled with one letter.
Looking forward to the next page to see how you go~

ram
10-05-2011, 11:23 PM
movies won't solve your problem in paneling though, try referencing some manga panels. and try comparing it to yours, why is that manga so easy to understand and so forth.

haven't read that many manga, but there are a lot of manga out there who doesn't care about manga size panels.
this one time I read ao no exorcist and it's hurting my eyes where the creator put useless scenes in one big panel, and put a very important scene in one small panel. D:<

correct way would be something like this
http://2.p.s.mfcdn.net/store/manga/9117/01-002.0/compressed/o007.jpg
http://8.p.s.mfcdn.net/store/manga/9117/01-002.0/compressed/o008.jpg

big panels should be to those who are bigger scenes and small panels should be at some just extra scenes or some scenes that are just about to make a fire or something.

trilokcool3
01-07-2012, 09:26 PM
back AGAIN TO MY NOOBNESS
its been long since the last one so i turned out really bad within 2 months
so here another page
jst want to know
what else can be more done
and more importantly am i doing it correct ...........???????????
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2012/01/trilokcool3-a-page-of-manga.jpg?t=4f08fc4c6481d.jpg

shadow_falling
01-08-2012, 03:09 AM
Just a suggestion, but you could really streamline your process by focusing more on grasping all that Manga Studio has to offer. I literally just got it, but as I've found out, it has quite an extensive dialogue box folder chock full of patterns that are adjustable(you can even create your own). The program itself is all inclusive. It has tons of shading options, dialogue options, background option, etc. It really makes it a faster process. The only hold back is learning it all.

You could make good use of line weight in this, as is will lessen the clutter and get the focus where it needs to be.

My only other suggestion is to hit up a manga website and read a few. Kind of get a grasp on the style and how the panels progress from one to the other. You can pick up some really good ideas from it.

Otherwise, you seem to be doing well. Keep challenging yourself and drawing.

trilokcool3
01-08-2012, 03:47 AM
umm.... i dont have those shading options and background options ... because its a demo version of manga studio ex 4 .
whenevr i draw a page it seems always incomplete to me ...because of the same.

shadow_falling
01-08-2012, 03:55 AM
Try and get it. It really is a big help and I got it on Ebay for $80, which is really good for a $300 program. Otherwise, if you're looking for a good program with a bunch of features, download Gimp. It has the pressure sensitivity option and offers a basic wide range of tools.

Cloudy
01-08-2012, 05:59 PM
I think you have improved a lot :)

trilokcool3
01-09-2012, 09:38 PM
heinnnn....... i IMPROVED....!!!!????
nevermind ...THANKYOU CLOUDY....
HERE goes its next page
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2012/01/trilokcool3-a-page-of-manga-2-3.jpg?t=4f0ba2eb4d63f.jpg

WHAT ELSE could be done .... ??????

trilokcool3
01-22-2012, 11:34 PM
now this is of different style.....
PLZ HELP ME WITH THIS TOO.....
took me 4hrs to do this stuff..........
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2012/01/trilokcool3-page-complete-1-2.jpg?t=4f1ce2600140c.jpg

ClockHand
01-22-2012, 11:56 PM
Gold rule: Show Don't Tell.

You are telling me who is the character, what is he thinking and what is he going to do. You are telling everything. Your job is to show, you need to show that he was/is bad and why do he know what he knows.

Problems to fix the "reason behind actions", just explain them later. Many authors start without monologues or anything that explains abilities or knowledges of the character until further on the story. This is made principally to start with action and to not overwhelm readers with to much information.

But yeah, just show more, explain less (explain with actions).

trilokcool3
01-23-2012, 02:54 AM
it was the very first page of my manga . May be i should hav shown abt what mistake he did rather than writing so much in panel 3 and onwarads.
Will it be alright now if i do this ??

ClockHand
01-23-2012, 11:37 AM
I can't understand what you are saying. Please be more clear.

trilokcool3
01-23-2012, 12:50 PM
you said that show more , explain less . So i thought that i will show abt how this person ( in my manga ) did bad things rather than just writing many things in box .
I mean i will just convert those explanations into actions.

SuperKasey
01-25-2012, 02:27 PM
Yes, I think a page or two showing scenes of him performing dark magic and crimes, getting caught, arrested and thrown in jail would be a great start. A monologue is usually acceptable in that situation. Then when the scene you just drew comes into play you can jump right into the action and dialogue.

By the way, looking through this thread from begining to end it's obvious that you're improving every time you draw a new page :3