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View Full Version : Help me get better by being a critic. Just don't be all mean. I could cry.



GAbRieLWrIgHt
08-02-2011, 10:56 PM
:cat_nyaa:

Hayashida
08-02-2011, 10:57 PM
Um like your art? You might want to start by posting a picture.

trilokcool3
08-02-2011, 11:07 PM
whers the picture..?:(

GAbRieLWrIgHt
08-02-2011, 11:17 PM
yall are being mean i can't post right now WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!:cat_nyaa: jk

ram
08-03-2011, 12:09 AM
dude post an art before rio shows up and see you as spam!

GAbRieLWrIgHt
08-04-2011, 01:23 PM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/index.php?do=/Hokusai/photo/view/self-portrait-13/

GAbRieLWrIgHt
08-04-2011, 01:24 PM
well i tried, and it's not working

ram
08-04-2011, 01:45 PM
right click on the image and then view image then copy the link.
if you don't right click and view image and just copy the link it won't show up


http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/08/Hokusai-self-portrait-13.jpg

GAbRieLWrIgHt
08-04-2011, 04:51 PM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/08/Hokusai-self-portrait-13_500.jpg?t=4e3b061ef3210
YESSSSSS!!!!!

Gedeon
08-04-2011, 04:53 PM
Baw its nice! Although i think he has quite a big hip bone.

Slurpee
08-05-2011, 12:57 PM
Very cute. The hips are a bit big. Post more! :)

GAbRieLWrIgHt
08-05-2011, 02:34 PM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/06/Hokusai-lucy-jpg.jpg?t=4e3c3785ee5d9

trilokcool3
08-05-2011, 09:42 PM
yeah THATS THE WAY ITS DONE:cat_gleam:
but kinda mouth is looking odd TAKE A LITTLE BIT TOP:cat_yeahright: (dont make mouth not so close to chin....):cat_mad:

Slurpee
08-06-2011, 06:40 PM
good, but show that she has her elbow so it looks more like its bending.

KayleL
08-06-2011, 11:00 PM
- The arm/hand/gun looks way too small. Especially if you take foreshortening into account.
- It looks like something was stuff under the shirt. Especially since you could see the side of her breast by her armpit. It's like you used two photos for reference, thus her chest is point in the wrong direction compare to other parts of the body.
- You should be careful about how the breast relates to the shoulder. When you look at anatomy pictures, you see that the pectoralis is connected to the deltoid.
http://www.waverleyplasticsurgery.com.au/images/breast-surgery-pectoral.jpg

tagYURIT
08-13-2011, 11:48 PM
I wanna be mean. .

scanten71-402san
08-20-2011, 07:27 AM
First - That looks like american cartoon. Body is not proportional.
Grade: D-
Second - I am not Elfen Lied fan, but good.
Grade: B

GAbRieLWrIgHt
08-21-2011, 05:26 PM
@Tagyurit go ahead the title was a joke, hahaha (unless it wasn't remotely amusing)
@scanten i know the body proportion is off, i drew tat a while ago.

Fenn
08-21-2011, 05:48 PM
I like the hair and eye on the second pic.

Sylux
08-21-2011, 09:00 PM
She's pretty buff, eh...? If you want to make her that big, you should try some sort of more masculine muscle definition. After all, nothin' wrong with a toned woman!

Leannah
09-07-2011, 08:26 PM
You're a pretty good drawer dude.
One piece of advice though: take more time to finish your drawings, don't rush.

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-07-2011, 04:03 PM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/10/GAbRieLWrIgHt-rachelalucard.png?t=4e8f5ac9911c8
Rachel Alucard from Blazeblue or something. It's a little sketchy, but it was late at night. I'm not a nocturnal person.

SuperKasey
10-07-2011, 09:07 PM
You've got a case of what I like to call "fuzzy lines." It's literally where the line art looks "fuzzy" or "hairy" because you're using tons of teeny little lines to compose a big line. Work on your hand eye coordination and do a lot of playing around with lines and long broad strokes as a warm up before you start to draw. Over time this should help.

This latest piece is quite nice, I just wish the colors were more uniform. See there where there are white flecks showing through on your color? That's a bit distracting and should be avoided when possible.

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-07-2011, 11:20 PM
yes i'm aware, i'm DEFINETLY going to do the hand eye coordination mess, with lines and broad stroaks and what not. The reason there are so many white flecks is because i was drawing and it was very zoomed in, so i couldn't see it well, and they looked a lot smaller in comparison to everything else

CypressDahlia
10-08-2011, 10:22 AM
Join us on groupboard sometime. I'd like to see what you can do with a more powerful tool than MS Paint. MS Paint is great, but the lack of AntiAliasing makes detailing impossible on smaller scales.

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-08-2011, 11:26 AM
i would, but i haven't yet learned how to draw with a mouse(I don't own a tablet, but my friend has and hp touch laptop)

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-08-2011, 11:35 AM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/10/GAbRieLWrIgHt-light-2.png?t=4e906d6e1381e
character from my upcoming manga Named: Light. I have better versions of him, just haven't uploaded them yet.

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-08-2011, 11:38 AM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/10/GAbRieLWrIgHt-characterdesign2.png?t=4e906dec5d483
no name yet. The pose is to stiff and theres some stuff wrong with his legs, the coloring messed up without me realizing it, but it's much to late for me to fix that now. Plz point out any other flaws you might see. There are definetly some more.

trilokcool3
10-08-2011, 11:56 AM
have u gone through ma tutorial MAY BE IT WILL HELP A LITTLE
i dont get it which software did u use to make these(ms paints ??) nd while coloring y there are some white spots ????
nvm
may be color it in better way nd see what it turns outa be
CAREFULL USE CURVE TOOLS IF USING MOUSE

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-08-2011, 12:00 PM
yea i saw your tutorial, and i actually did use ms paint, white spots are there because whenever painting on small laptop they look small compared to all of the other color(on RachelAlucard they look like small white spots on giant black canvas, hardly noticeable, so i didn't know they would look like that).

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-08-2011, 12:04 PM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/06/Hokusai-2011-06-14-22-54-42-310-copy-jpg_240.jpg
ash and pikachu, my first colored pencil request it brings back memories. :P if you want to see it bigger go to my request's gallery

trilokcool3
10-08-2011, 12:12 PM
HEYYY... i remember this i requested it
and yes i did say that FACE IS TOO DARK love the pose and pikkachu

SuperKasey
10-08-2011, 01:22 PM
Oh I see. I didn't know you were using a mouse and that changes things a bit. When you're a mouse painter it helps if you can scan in your line work. If you can't I recommend taking some extra time to clean the line art you create with a mouse. Also, use the fill bucket to block in your color instead of doing it by hand. You'll save time and get rid of those pesky white spots everybody keeps mentioning. Just make sure the area you fill in is completely contained in your line art!

What I said earlier about practicing making lines with the mouse still stands.

What Cyp said about using a more powerful program/GB also stands. The GB is for practice. Nobody will care if you haven't learned to use the mouse yet. We're here to help not to make fun of you. Also if you'd rather draw on your own there are several free paint programs floating around out there like Paint Tool SAI (and God do I ever love that program).

One more thing: I found this tutorial (http://yasha-sama.deviantart.com/art/Painting-with-a-Mouse-40832098) that may help out. It's in Photoshop, but the things in there should generally work the same way in GB or SAI or any other program.

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-08-2011, 08:45 PM
HEYYY... i remember this i requested it
and yes i did say that FACE IS TOO DARK love the pose and pikkachu

i kno, i remembered you saying that, i messed up and colored to darkly on that one(tho it was pretty good for a first try in my opinion

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-20-2011, 09:21 PM
http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/10/GAbRieLWrIgHt-2011-10-19-22-02-49-735-1-2.jpg?t=4ea0c8fec7ff6

http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/10/GAbRieLWrIgHt-2011-10-19-22-00-13-884-1-2.jpg?t=4ea0c957d53e9
Here's a better version of my character Light.

trilokcool3
10-20-2011, 10:07 PM
GIVE SOME symmetrical nature to your character .....
and yes PAY ATTENTION TO POSE ......about body bending
in first picture make the left (ours) leg almost 90 degree ...
also bend body according to it...
ITS BETTER IF YOU STAND INFRONT OF MIRROR AND FIGURE IT OUT...

Cloudy
10-20-2011, 10:56 PM
Define Symmetrical nature.

SuperKasey
10-20-2011, 11:04 PM
GIVE SOME symmetrical nature to your character .....
ITS BETTER IF YOU STAND INFRONT OF MIRROR AND FIGURE IT OUT...

First of all, Final Fantasy, dude. One of the most popular game franchises out there, not a lot of symmetrical character designs. Second of all, "Stand in front of a mirror and figure it out?????" How helpful of you. e_e

Tri is right about one thing though. Your characters are lacking balance in their poses. They don't feel grounded or look like they're actually standing in the physical world. They're um. . . "floaty," I guess is a good word xD This can be fixed by studying how people stand, walk, pose, etc. . . in real life and paying attention to perspective. Also in the first picture his weapons are really just floating there at his sides. Heavy objects on chains tend to obey gravity and will hang straight down unless being swung. But for all I know he could have psychic powers or something and is making them floaty but even still one should still be conscious of weight when creating the shapes and form of the weapons and to make sure there is a contrast between grounded people and objects and objects that are disobeying physics xD

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-20-2011, 11:10 PM
yea i kno, on the first one, that happens a lot because i draw with the pad sideways. the second i messed up with the pose. it was supposed to appear as if someone was looking up at him, but i'm not very good at it. thanx for the critique

SuperKasey
10-20-2011, 11:12 PM
I too know the woes of accidentally drawing on a slanted sketch book :I "Ho man this is gonna be the best drawing in the history of-- . . . Aw shit." It's all good man :3

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-23-2011, 12:05 AM
haha, i kno right

Captain_Neko
10-23-2011, 05:55 PM
If you're using a digital Camera, get better lighting and see if it has a "text" setting. You'll get a clearer and cleaner picture.

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-23-2011, 09:29 PM
thanx, i'm actually using a Droid Bionic, and it's making the lighting weird, the old Droid didn't do that.

Maxx_Wellington
10-24-2011, 10:54 PM
to save "herassment" I will only coment on the last two pics.

Pic 1. Loosen up, faitly draw a motion line for your weapons and let the chain links flow with that. Also, if he has no motion, they will be straight down, so try avoiding this by adding some kind of action shot. He is really slender and actually tilted. his right foor is a little too twisted outwards and his legs have no tone or anything. Try using the 8 heads meathod... if you need to know more, ask.

Pic 2.Again, the same goes with the chain and left leg as before. the leg looks like he is skin and bones. Also the left foot is too twisted. Try noticing how many times your feet sit at a 90 degree angle from each other.... never... so twist the foot more forward. the collar looks a little strange but it's too small to note.

On the bright side, you do have a good imagination and know how to relate your thoughts into images, which a lot of people can't figure out.

GAbRieLWrIgHt
10-25-2011, 08:15 PM
First of all, Final Fantasy, dude. One of the most popular game franchises out there, not a lot of symmetrical character designs. xD

love me some final fantasy...

on the other note, thanx for everyone's critique, it's really helpful, and honestly, i have no idea what i was thinking whenever i drew those chains all floaty... -.-

GAbRieLWrIgHt
11-05-2011, 05:48 PM
didn't draw this with a slanted sketch book. because it's on a sheet of paper. It's my OC and was for halloween. halloween is over now.http://www.mangatutorials.com/file/pic/photo/2011/10/GAbRieLWrIgHt-happy-halloween-2011.jpg?t=4eb5aec249cf3 made it be a link because it was so big

GAbRieLWrIgHt
04-10-2012, 07:49 PM
Ah, I'm BACK! Yes!
http://th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/054/6/0/ink_man_by_horishige-d4qrfpw.jpg
Did this for MangaStudio Contest. Very fun actually. Thank you for your critiques in advance.

GAbRieLWrIgHt
04-10-2012, 07:59 PM
http://th00.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/023/0/d/swordbreaker_by_horishige-d4nel19.jpg
While posting these, I realized that the coding was redone to some extent on this site. With Javascript.

trilokcool3
04-10-2012, 08:36 PM
Hmm... So you improved . Ok for the critic now . As far upto body looks good. Only problem is very clear even you can point out that his legs are way too thin . May be double the thickness . And for the whole your pose seems bend relative to the page . In that case make a layer nd draw the x-axis nd y-axis lines (like in a graph paper).
Advice=
if you are using manga studio then first draw a rough sketch , then go for main work.
If you are using mouse, then curve tool must be your favourite tool ( my whole work are 90% dependent on curve tool).

Gedeon
04-11-2012, 10:00 AM
Ok you've got the basic idea of the body but still it lacks muscles....take a look at this site http://www.posemaniacs.com/ and try an draw as many of these bodies as you can. I think you still need to learn how the body works. in the pic before the last one his legs seem to bend in way impossible for a being with such anatomy. So more body studding....other then that pretty good.

ScarletHue
04-13-2012, 05:56 AM
Ok, so in order to aid as much as possible; Please understand that I'm not the best at mincing my words.

So I'll break my crit down into sections.

The Anatomy and Proportion...The sucky stuff.

His bodily proportion is fine, I can't detect any problems with it really. One might argue that the forehead is huge based on the size of the hat but clothing is to be covered later.

The anatomy though, needs work. The first thing is that torsos -even the male torso- is not that straight. I like to think of a bean shape when getting the basic structure for it down. Shoulders don't tend to come out at right angles, again even on males. Try to slant them even if only slightly. With the arms, pay attention to the individual sections. The main areas of the arm to indicate are the deltoid, bicep and tricep, forearm and wrist. Try not to draw the arm as two tubes connected by the elbow. Some one recommended posemaniacs.com above me, I second that when it comes to learning the anatomy.
The most important thing for you to take away from this section really is that the human body doesn't have very many straight lines or right angles. Things are more curved in the natural form.

Clothing

First thing is, the design itself is pretty cool. What it lacks is folds. All cloth folds as it hangs over the body. You need to try and indicate those folds to give the body more form. It will really help making things look 3D as well. And that brings me nicely to the other point about clothes; Try to remember that they are worn on top of the body and as such it should look and feel as though there is a body underneath, they don't just 'pin on'.

Foreshortening

It's great that you've experimented with this. I never used to do this sorta thing and still try to avoid it now where possible. It's not easy stuff. Saying that, I think you've handled it pretty well. The arm really does look like its coming toward the viewer. The issue is the way you've drawn the hand and the..sword I believe it is. Things get really confusing after the hand and it's difficult to see what things are. Don't be afraid to use reference if you're not sure how things should look. You can even use your own body as reference if you look in the mirror or take a picture.

Composition

There isn't a lot that can be said about this because it's just a single character. But from the caption or title underneath I can only assume that the page is some sort of cover page or something similar. In which case I'd have dramatized the pose a little. Get the shoulders moving in the opposite direction to the hips is the easy way of making things more dynamic. The foreshortening does help to add interest though so it's great you included that. His expression could be a little less 'plain' to make things more interesting. And the last thing to note is about the balance, he seems to be falling over to one side; be careful when drawing that the character is well balanced (unless they are falling!) Easy trick for this is if you can draw a line straight down from the nose neatly in between both legs then the character is in perfect balance.

Hands and Feet

The foreshortened hand is confusing but you did a great job on the other hand. The feet however, Again I suggest looking at references.

Here's a quick deally to help you out. I apologize because I can't draw for shit with my mouse.
http://i40.tinypic.com/24g953m.jpg

GAbRieLWrIgHt
04-14-2012, 05:46 PM
Trilok-Thank you, I was aware that the legs were two skinny, just that whenever I tried to thicken them I messed up badly. I don't think I understand what you mean by "it bends relative to the page." I would appreciate if you could enlighten me just a bit more on what you meant by that.
Gedeon-Thank you for the website, it looks incredibly helpful. I'm only familiar with anatomy of the bones and basic muscle anatomy. So, as you suggested, I shall study anatomy.
ScarletHue- Your review was really helpful, I actually use the bean shape, The clothes are meant to be loose, but, I do believe that there is a thing as too lose, and not adding enough definition to my characters muscles and such. The bean shape works, but in the red-lines above the pose looks sassy, which it wasn't meant to. I have started using references, since before this review, but this is a rather old drawing, it's about a month old. Which isn't really that old, but for the stage that I'm in right now it kind of is, because I'm constantly evolving. I could easily destroy my self-esteem with both of these drawing by making such a hurtful critique that I cried. Hence the reason the tile says not to make me cry. Thank you very much. I hope you get your tablet back soon, lol.

GAbRieLWrIgHt
07-19-2012, 12:20 PM
http://www.mangamagazine.net/illustrations/Linebeck/image/11107/illustration-600x-shrink.jpg

Dunno if it work's...

Rubisko
07-20-2012, 07:18 AM
The image link is broken

I think the idea works, but the presentation could use a little bit of work. I find that neater and sharper linework makes painting neater too. If the tools you use can make straight lines and symmetrical ellipses for you I think you should try to use them when you prep your sketch for painting

Snooderflubbyguppy
07-20-2012, 01:14 PM
i love how reading these helps me aswell. ill post something when im done with it.its taking a while (havnt been on computer all that much lately)

GAbRieLWrIgHt
07-20-2012, 09:24 PM
It did. I do. I just don't like using them, it feels stiff to me. I'll try it though.

Demonfyre
07-21-2012, 03:42 AM
http://www.mangamagazine.net/illustrations/Linebeck/image/11107/illustration-600x-shrink.jpg

Dunno if it work's...

Loving the LoZ Fanart :D look out for the faces and the eyes though, particularly the eyes, the way you drew the right eye on linebeck makes it look like his eye is sticking out of his face