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Jahkofhearts
07-22-2011, 07:45 AM
hey Jack here just to say I have done another episode of BREAKER- !!!! i know awesome here is the link

http://jahkofhearts.blogspot.com/2011/07/suprise.html

if you haven't seen the 1st one go on here

http://jahkofhearts.blogspot.com/2011/04/breaker-episode-1-gunsmonsters-and.html


just to say this is my 1st sorta proper comic, so comments would be BRILLIANT! thankyou :D

Jahkofhearts
07-24-2011, 05:32 AM
hey here are some more pictures (some are just pages from BREAKER-) please comment!!!!! :D i really need the criticism
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Tb8LtJdGqFs/TilsaRJ3gSI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/-jn9vs5pbDw/s640/21.jpg


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uArxgziR6ZI/TilPvrXf8dI/AAAAAAAAAJM/B83onF_SUPw/s1600/24.jpg

this was a comission I did for some man who lives near me
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9ouS8Lkn2dY/TiVVPzAqnDI/AAAAAAAAAIY/V6DSDTfEyrw/s640/guys-comission.jpg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wRrLyge9GZU/ThXUISYyVRI/AAAAAAAAAH4/1rgnvDoUUAw/s400/building+concepts.jpg
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ESG2C3yJkxs/ThXUNBKkK6I/AAAAAAAAAIA/lPO2mZ_ndeU/s1600/Leo+concept+2.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eNIGnZ6ON2o/ThXUKbWQojI/AAAAAAAAAH8/Xyg6q0mWsaU/s1600/Leo+concept+1.jpg


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2FONx3dkD7g/TiXDSQrWLuI/AAAAAAAAAIc/YCKMjQpQWCI/s1600/francois.jpg

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N3DYy_3KrGI/ThXUZ78DVnI/AAAAAAAAAIE/Wm15rCB_gQI/s1600/LeoQ+copy.jpg
a bit of older stuff
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-HHud-8JBO0M/TXfnYMrULKI/AAAAAAAAAB4/ela4mWCMWQ0/s640/Bennie.P.Major.jpg
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-To-gPF3Wqlg/TWfn81fqPiI/AAAAAAAAABI/__S0t9OcXJs/s320/pull+copy.jpg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KoGK1CDO8r0/TUwFtj5FNaI/AAAAAAAAAA8/Z5YePbZYxSs/s1600/04-02-2011+13%253B51%253B18.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PV14J4cwSuY/TVpn5NuqS1I/AAAAAAAAABA/gbTUPT9y-jI/s1600/robin+concept.jpg

ram
07-25-2011, 12:38 PM
there are too many picture's that i'm confused of what to crit first, @.@

your could've atleast indicate a name to every single picture to not cause misunderstanding.

anyway, you should connect the body a little more. it kinda feels like those arms and legs don't actually go with them.

it's kinda a long explanation for foot but all i can say is take into consideration the gravity and where it's stepping, and hands need some work as well.

try to use this type of guile line for a change.
http://i1225.photobucket.com/albums/ee388/skyramiel/087.jpg?t=1311608007

i would suggest you go to posemaniacs.com and see more futher in anatomy.
i kinda commented on someone else the things i need to crit to you and i hate too much reapeating stuffs.

but i guess i would change my mind if you atleast name all of those pictures to not be so confusing. =_=

but anyway good stuffs man.

Tora
07-26-2011, 01:18 AM
Wow! This stuff is pretty good! And is that a moleskine? Very good. Keep practicing in that moleskine. The more you experiment with poses, perspective, anatomy and the like (and it seems like you've got a lot of that going on) the better of a grasp you'll have on your drawing. Stay openminded and be willing to try anything.

Specifically the things that stuck out most:
I like the the steampunk pirate pic but there's an obvious problem - his feet. The perspective is off. You need to find a good reference for feet like that. Also, it seems like his body is a tad squished so that he could fit on the page. He needs to be drawn out just a little bit more.

The dude with the fur around his neck has a receding chin. Bring it out a bit more to give him a stronger appearance.

The guy holding the sword with the chain hanging from it - did you use guidelines to draw his body? It looks like you didn't... his shirt looks kinda blobby...

I also like the chick with the pink (?) hair and guns, though she's a bit chubby. Is that what you were going for? The hair style that's colored on the bottom with the "..." next to it is cool.

Jahkofhearts
07-26-2011, 06:42 AM
thanks for the advice people :D 1st off I didn't use guide lines for the guy with a sword and gun and it was my 1st crack with a paintbrush with are very unpredictable with thickness of lines -__-'' second off just to state that most of my moleskine isn't perfect I just rush down some visual ideas to get a grip of what the character will look like, the girl with the RED hair once again no she's not supposed to be chubby it's just me scribbling roughs in my moleskine.

should stated that at 1st ... hahahaha

and feed back on my comic at all?

Tora
07-27-2011, 12:17 AM
Hey, I'm back for more! I know this may look long but don't freak out! It's mostly tips.

I know moleskine is by no means suppose to be perfect. It's for experimentation purposes really. But you asked for crits... You do have some really great ideas/doodles in there though.

Anyway... (Just looking at the two pages posted)
You're comics are set up well. You might wanna shake things up by using different shaped panels or even letting the content of a panel goob out into the gutter, eliminating panel walls. Panneling this way is more dynamic and catches the readers eye (but we also know that famous artists like Akira Toriyama and Osamu Tezuka kept almost all the action within the panel so it works either way really.)

As for the actual content... in the first page it is kinda difficult to see what's going on. I need more pictures with more to them to get a better feel for everything. There's too many close-ups. Also in the very first panel it kinda looks like the guy is sitting on her...

EDIT: Just read the bits of your comic you posted earlier... it's good. How do you do the planning for your comic? Do you script things out first or do you just do it?

Leannah
09-08-2011, 10:48 AM
The guy with the backpack looks really cool and adventurous