PDA

View Full Version : Let me spin you a tale(with less ellipsis)



Fenn
07-12-2011, 03:42 PM
This thing is either going to burst into something great or die before it even gets off the ground, but...

The fantasy short story I was writing hit a wall due to writer's block and a lack of feedback, so I thought I'd try something new. This is going to be an improv story told in alternating bouts of reflective, first-person monologuing and dialogue-heavy, third-person fiction narrative. By improv, I mean I'm going into this with nary a thought in my head about what I'm going to write, except that it's fiction prose, and periodically I'll log on and write as much as I feel. Expect tons of plot twists and genre mash-ups.

In order to obtain an audience, I ask for not only feedback but suggestions and desires for content. It can be anything. If I like it, I'll add it in someway, somewhere down the line. This way people will feel like it's "our" story rather than just mine.

So...as we all gather around the fire and get comfortable, I ask: what would you like to hear?

BozeSG
07-16-2011, 03:17 PM
:monkey_cough:i think it's better if you tell something of your basic plot before asking for suggestions... it's kinda hard just to just "suggest" sth out of the blue, you know...

i'm really interested in this and i want to take part in it. (your conflicts story is really good too, well, right now i've just read up to chapter four but i liked what i read up until now...:cat_thumbsup:)

Fenn
07-16-2011, 04:01 PM
:monkey_cough:i think it's better if you tell something of your basic plot before asking for suggestions... it's kinda hard just to just "suggest" sth out of the blue, you know...

i'm really interested in this and i want to take part in it. (your conflicts story is really good too, well, right now i've just read up to chapter four but i liked what i read up until now...:cat_thumbsup:)

I suppose I can suggest a theme or concept, but the idea was more for a "fireside" tale where people would say, "Tell us a story about ___!" If you think it would be better to start it up first I definitely will.

And thanks for the complement, I'm at a crucial point in that story and I need to both read it over to make sure I'll stay consistent as I continue and plan more of the rest. But I'm not through with it.

SamuraiChameleon
07-16-2011, 05:50 PM
I'm with BozeSG despite his creepy avatar picture. It sounds interesting, but I'm not the kind of guy who can give you something when you ask for anything. My mind just doesn't come up with anything.

BozeSG
07-17-2011, 03:32 AM
Don't make fun of PATORIOTS!!!!!! but i guess it is quite creepy....

and yeah fen, the idea of "fireside" works if everyone had to say a short story of their own, not when you want to make a single long story...

Fenn
07-17-2011, 12:15 PM
Don't make fun of PATORIOTS!!!!!! but i guess it is quite creepy....

and yeah fen, the idea of "fireside" works if everyone had to say a short story of their own, not when you want to make a single long story...

Okey dokey, I'll start this up once I get a long enough session for writing something substantial.

This is going to be a crazy story, I can tell.

Edit 7/20/11: Okay, Here goes...

THE QUEST FOR EPIC

Capt. Straitfeather was no ordinary pirate. He did not drink, for one. He also had good hygeine, was a poor swordsman, and could barely handle the kick of a flintlock pistol. He also had little interest in gold and riches (and women) like so many of the men he captained. In fact, without his ship Capt. Straightfeather would hardly be considered a pirate at all.

There were two things that earned the captain his title. The first was the single common thread which bonded him to his shipmates; a love of the sea and adventure. Since he could crawl, the captain had dreams of a life of discovery, of traversing unknown locales across the world.

The second thing is what truly gave Captn. Straitfeather the leg up over every other pirate out there: intelligence--no, genius. Not only had the captain travelled farther than any other inhabitant of Newer England, the small island chain where he was born, but he was more educated than just about everyone living in whatever destination he chose to journey to. You see, while the other pirates were out plundering and partying, acts which the captain knew he would be foolish to prohibit, the captain himself was reading, exploring, and learning the culture of the area. And not only was he educated, he was a remarkable quick, sly thinker who would weasal his way into and out of danger seemingly at will. How else could he have led a munity against the previous captain of the ship, and succeeded with next to no bloodshed on board...in 2 days?

Now the captain was preparing to take on the boldest, most dangerous, and most adventurous treasure hunt of his career: the search for Epic.

Fenn
07-21-2011, 04:03 PM
Bump...

SamuraiChameleon
07-22-2011, 12:30 AM
You should do something like they find an island that can only be found that does who already found it, and put a chest full of cursed aztec coins and they take chest and sell it all, but then they realize they got cursed and can't die and become skeletons under the moonlight, and so they have to set out and collect every last aztec coin and return them to the chest to break the curse OR idea #2 where you find out that Captain Straitfeather actually made a deal with Davy Jones to raise his ship from the grave for 10 years in exchange for his soul in the end, so he sets out on a quest to recover the chest that contains Jones' still beating heart and then some other crazy shit happens that would be too long to type out OR idea #3 where they go looking for the fountain of youth.

And here's some random crap I just thought of:
- The previous captain comes back with a vengeance
- Ok, that's the only thing I just thought of...

Delphinus
07-22-2011, 06:16 AM
^ I can't help but feel that I've seen these ideas somewhere before...

Fenn
07-22-2011, 09:25 AM
You should do something like they find an island that can only be found that does who already found it, and put a chest full of cursed aztec coins and they take chest and sell it all, but then they realize they got cursed and can't die and become skeletons under the moonlight, and so they have to set out and collect every last aztec coin and return them to the chest to break the curse OR idea #2 where you find out that Captain Straitfeather actually made a deal with Davy Jones to raise his ship from the grave for 10 years in exchange for his soul in the end, so he sets out on a quest to recover the chest that contains Jones' still beating heart and then some other crazy shit happens that would be too long to type out OR idea #3 where they go looking for the fountain of youth.

And here's some random crap I just thought of:
- The previous captain comes back with a vengeance
- Ok, that's the only thing I just thought of...

Can I just make it clear that Straitfeather is NOT a spoof on Barbosa. At all. I mean, they're pirates, mutiny and stuff happens, y'know.

If you have any ideas that aren't from PotC (love the series but still...), I'm open. Also, I wasn't even planning to take this on a Pirate Adventure path anywho. More characters and settings are soon to appear, not to mention the burning central question:

WHAT IS EPIC?

SamuraiChameleon
07-22-2011, 01:46 PM
Epic is when a bunch of awesome things collide in an explosion of crazy awesomeness. People die, people live, people fall in and out love, countries collapse, countries rise, and most importantly, people fight in over the top action with the outcome deciding everything! Epic is when the only word you could possibly think of to describe something like that is EPIC!!

Delphinus
07-22-2011, 04:58 PM
Fenn, you derp. You just used an ellipses. Again.

BozeSG
07-22-2011, 05:29 PM
oh, oh, i'd like to suggest finding cyborgs, skeletons and reindeers as friends on our fun journey...

well, i pretty much expected anything except pirates, they're one of the few plots that i haven't fiddled with already. good, i feel challenged...

i'd like to clarify two things first :
1- from a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the cold blooded, murderer, rapist and disgusting type of pirates and 10 being the one piece-like pirates) what number would you give to the crew's morality? (im okay with anything except 5, it's just not fun to make stories about neutral main characters)
2- i'm almost sure of the answer but can please tell me whether you want this to be a fantasy or realistic?

with that being said, i don't think this is going to go anywhere if you just start the story without having any clue of what is what. so before writing it, let's try thinking about a few more characters and a bit more about the plot and the settings of the world... (you can disagree with this, im just trying to state my opinion...)

also, get rid of the damn ellipsis fenn...

Fenn
07-22-2011, 10:20 PM
Epic is when a bunch of awesome things collide in an explosion of crazy awesomeness. People die, people live, people fall in and out love, countries collapse, countries rise, and most importantly, people fight in over the top action with the outcome deciding everything! Epic is when the only word you could possibly think of to describe something like that is EPIC!!

That is a motif and the theme of the story. But it's also going to be a physical plot device. Is it a place, an object, a non-existent myth? Who knows?


oh, oh, i'd like to suggest finding cyborgs, skeletons and reindeers as friends on our fun journey...

well, i pretty much expected anything except pirates, they're one of the few plots that i haven't fiddled with already. good, i feel challenged...

i'd like to clarify two things first :
1- from a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the cold blooded, murderer, rapist and disgusting type of pirates and 10 being the one piece-like pirates) what number would you give to the crew's morality? (im okay with anything except 5, it's just not fun to make stories about neutral main characters)
2- i'm almost sure of the answer but can please tell me whether you want this to be a fantasy or realistic?

with that being said, i don't think this is going to go anywhere if you just start the story without having any clue of what is what. so before writing it, let's try thinking about a few more characters and a bit more about the plot and the settings of the world... (you can disagree with this, im just trying to state my opinion...)

also, get rid of the damn ellipsis fenn...

the crew? 3 or 4. The captain? violence: 8 (he tries to avoid it), being a sly, crafty S.O.B: 2 (he screws people over all the time.)

Fantasy. And making up some more of the plot and things isn't a bad idea, lets just not get TOO far ahead, because the whole idea is improv. Brainstorming is great though. In fact, the next main character we meet is now going to be half man, half reindeer. And he has a certain...unique power.

The world...well, right now it's naught but a chain of islands. But soon things are going to get interesting in this world. It's not Earth, by the way, meaning half-reindeer people will not be overly strange to the captain and his crew.

BozeSG
07-23-2011, 10:56 AM
well, for the plot we first need some kind of background on epic (eg. where is it supposed to be, who put it there, what's special about it, etc.).

the world is fine, i only suggest not to make something monkey island-like (or any other adventure games) with the characters having to solve stuff and trick people while going back and forth from an island to the other one to get the treasure, as long as that is avoided, it works out okay.
also it wouldn't be bad if we gave it something that can give a sense of uniqueness to the readers, you know, something to add other aspects to the story. that way, you can avoid making the story too linear by jumping from one aspect and theme to another while progressing the story... for example, creating a parallel world integrated into this one (this is just an example)


In fact, the next main character we meet is now going to be half man, half reindeer. And he has a certain...unique power. explanation?

also, how big is the crew? if it's really big, i'd suggest having a person who is really close to him and acts as his right hand (preferably female)...

Fenn
07-23-2011, 04:18 PM
WOAH there Boze, I'm getting to that stuff. How many epic fantasy stories begin with a list-like format that just gives away all the surprises?

That being said, you're clearly eager to know just where I'm going, so I'll give you (and everyone else) the scoop. We aren't dealing with 1 central character per say, although if I had to pick one it would be the captain. The captain, the reindeer dude (introduced in my next story post) and two other characters (a party-loving...scientist (???) and his associate, a female linguist and global expert) will join together to form the central "party" along with the crew (about 12 or so, a small-medium pirate ship). The plot arcs will go as follows:

1. How the party forms (and introducing some rivals and enemies too)
2. Search for Epic pt. 1 (obvious spoiler: they don't find it, but they get a "clue")
3. Search for someone to figure out the clue.
4. Search for Epic pt. 2 (climax, giant battles and crazy action everywhere).
5. Tie up loose ends.

Where we take each of those arcs is up to us, and they could always change. I also plan to expand the world beyond the island chain. A parallel universe is kinda cliche, any other ideas where they can go?

So just hold tight, the next post will bring with it answers to some of your questions.

EDIT: okay, so the next post won't be for a few days. I won't have the time for a lengthy post and i want to do it right so just give me a week or so.

Fenn
07-26-2011, 11:37 AM
Note: For the sake of progressing a bit further, I'm going to be quite brief with description and dialogue and focus more on plot and characters for this post.

"Uh, Captain..." said a rather burly, unattractive pirate, "Where exactly are we going?"
"To determine our destination," the Captain replied. The pirate's small attention span quickly dragged him out of the conversation.

What the Captain said was true; he was going to collect information about the location of Epic. Few people in Newer England had any information about Epic, and even fewer were willing to discuss it. Most people considered it a myth; the Captain, however, was tired of raiding merchant ships and plundering villages--easy tasks for a man of his level of intellect--and was willing to take the risk of being set on a wild goose chase.

The Arrowing, Captain Straightfeather's small, nimble ocean vessel, arrived at the smallest of the Newer England island chain. The captain allowed his crew to depart, but instructed them not to do any harm to the village or its inhabitants. Reluctantly, the men and women aboard agreed. The Captain departed from the ship and turned right towards the seaside cottage in the distance. The crew left and turned right, towards the local bar.

When he arrived at the door of the cottage, the captain tapped lightly on the door. A hoarse voice, which could only be that of an elderly man, called out, "Be right there!" After a few moments, the door creaked open to reveal a long, white bread. Attached to this beard was the face of a bald, white man. The kind disposition which shone through his eyes at first was soon replaced by curiosity and suspicion as he looked over the dashing young captain of 27. Then it dawned on him; this was the man who had sent for him.

"What's your name, boy?"
"Captain Machiavelli Straightfeather."
The man squinted. "What's the name of your ship?"
"The Arrowing, sir."
"Why are you here?"
"Epic."

The old man nodded, obviously convinced. "Welcome, to my humble home, captain. Mr. Arnold, at your service. Come in, sit." Mr. Arnold invited the captain inside with a gesture of his hand, and the two took a seat in comfortable armchairs.

"Coffee? Water?" the man asked.
"With all due respect, sir," the captain said politely, "I'd like to get straight down to business."
"True to your name, Mr. Straightfeather."
The captain smiled out of respect, then said, "What sort of information do you have about Epic."
"The word? Well, it's an adjective, of course, and--"
"Not the word, sir," the captain interrupted. He had been completely caught off guard by the man's reply, unable to tell if he was serious or simply toying with him. The captain did not like to be toyed with.
"I'm interested in the Epic."
"The Epic? Why do you use such cryptic language?"
"Well," said the Captain, "I don't exactly know what it is sir. Nobody does."
"Nobody? Well, if nobody knows, then either my name is Nobody, or you're wasting you time here."
The Captain sighed. He was not enjoying this banter at all. "Look, sir, surely you have heard of the myths and legends surrounding this concept of Epic?"
"I have. Quite fatastic stories. 'Greater than the largest galaxy, smaller than the tiniest speck of matter.' 'The desire of every adventuresome soul.' Yes, I reckon I've heard of such tales."
Now the captain was getting somewhere. "Now, sir, do you know whether these stories are real or not?"
After a thoughtful glance, Mr. Arnold said, "I can honestly say I have no proof that these stories are true. Then again, I have no reason to think they are false. What do you think?"
"I'm not sure either. That's why I came to see you. People say you have knowledge of Epic that no one else possesses."
Mr. Arnold laughed, "Well, I'd say some of those rumors are more myth than Epic is!" He set his cup of coffee on the table and stared intently at the captain.

"Captain," he asked, "Why do you want this Epic so badly anyway?"

The captain answered without hesitation, "Adventure. I want to do what no human has done before. The life of a pirate can get dull and repetitive for a man of my intelligence. I want a challenge."

Mr. Arnold smiled.

After a long pause, he said, "The world does not end at the borders of Newer England." The captain looked up while Mr. Arnold continued, "Did you think the multitude of races inhabiting our island just popped up from the ground? Wrong! In fact, long ago there was a time when Newer England had contact with all sorts of distant lands."
Captain Straightfeather looked the old man in the eyes and said, "This in incredible. Epic must be beyond those borders! How do I pass the mountains with my ship, though?"
"With help from a friend. Pike! It's time you meet our guest."
Mr. Arnold turned to look at the staircase behind him. The captain followed suit. The sound of feet stomping down each stair echoed through the small cottage. Each step sounded like a hammer slamming down on the hardwood stairs. Soon the captain saw a steel-toed boot appear with a bang on the topmost visible stair. Then the other boot.
As the figure appears in the Captain's view, he was taken aback by it's form. The lower body was human in form, covered by brown cowhide pants. The torso was trim, and covered in a black leather jacket adorned with metal chains and spikes. It was the head and hands that startled the captain. From the neck up, this...thing looked precisely like a reindeer: A long snout, a head covered in fur, and large antlers on top. The antlers appeared to have been sharpened like spears, and the nose, rather than black and wet like most animals, was translucent white. In place of hands were two large hooves. The only human-like aspect of the creature were its eyes, which burned with life and focus.
Mr. Arnold turned back to the Captain, smiling, and said, "Pike, meet Captain Straightfeather. Captain, meet Pike."
Pike said nothing. The captain, in an instinctual motion, stood up, walked slowly over to the strange being in front of him, and extended his hand.
"Nice to meet you, sir."
Pike did not move, did not even take his eyes off the face of the frightened captain. Then, slowly, he crouched slightly and tilted his head forward, directing his skewer-like antlers at the captain. He looked ready to charge. The captain pulled back his hand and was about to retreat when Pike spoke in a deep, clear voice:
"It is an honor, Captain."

Fenn
07-31-2011, 10:09 AM
bump? don't kill me. I'm competing with all 158 of Kodos' RPG threads.

Fenn
08-18-2011, 05:18 PM
Last chance. If no one posts I'm considering this thread dead.

SamuraiChameleon
08-21-2011, 12:47 AM
I don't know why, but I feel kind of bad. I was all like, "Yeah, let's do this", and now I'm not. I really can't think of anything to say or add.

Fenn
08-21-2011, 05:44 PM
I don't know why, but I feel kind of bad. I was all like, "Yeah, let's do this", and now I'm not. I really can't think of anything to say or add.

Just say you're enjoying it. If I know at least someone is reading it I'll keep going, but I'm not going to write if no one's even gonna view it.