Eh. Wasn't as bad as you say it is. But the man going pale is a bit hard to believe when he only read something. I'd like to see one of your action stories sometime though.

All the ones I dare to upload are in here:

viewtopic.php?f=12&t=680

About the editor--yeah, I saw that. I thought I could create some kinda contrast between reality and Sierra's concept, but it turned out like you said: unrealistic.

*skitters in*

FIRST. Take me off the writing list. I think I'll just pop in for critiques and comments, but I won't submit anything of my own. If I do write, it'll be in my writing thread, so no worries if any of you were interested. :)

SECOND. I've gotta catch up on everyone's stories; OTL. I promise I'll get to them--I feel like a terrible personnnnn! D:

Third. Haha, "dare" to upload. You gotta share all the "other" stuff with me some time, broseph.

Okay, you have been taken off the list Celestial Fox. And I'll look at the stories sometime soon Matt. I don't have time right now.

Meh, that's fine. This site's dying in 13 days anyway (darnit, Rio, NOOO!!). I should figure out how to download my art and writing threads before then.

@Seefy - Trust me when I say you DON'T wanna see them. Y'know how I do a lotta sadistic violence in my stories that I post? Yeah, it's even worse in the ones I stow in my "Old Writing" folder and pray I'll never have to look at again. There are a few that aren't too bad, I guess. I'd just have weed through them.

Aaaah, I think we all have those folders. Mine's got weaboo old stuff and stupid war scenes. Failfailfailfail. 

As for the story, eh. I don't think I know who these characters are. There wasn't a lot of physical description of characters or scene. The editor (and Sierra, surprisingly) didn't have much of a personality or unique way of putting things. It all seemed like a character-ego-stroke scene where the goal was to let the reader know that Sierra is a prodigical mangaka. D:

But. I did like the way she got nervous about her ink spills and how that came back to bite her in the butt. It was kinda cute, like a *piKA!* moment in manga/anime. Also, I read the end part where he lists off the non-clichés of her manga to my friends, and they laughed super hard at number three with the flashbacks. XD It made them interested in your other writing, *nudgenudge*

As for suggestions, I'd give visual descriptions of the characters. Just very brief, though, really. The two characters kinda talk the same, so I would suggest giving one a quirk. 

All in all, it wasn't /so/ bad, but definitely far from your best.   

Meh. I wrote it in fifteen minutes. I didn't expect it to be my best.


*Fistpump*

My "crap" folder's got a lot of war scenes, but not as much weaboo as most anime fans. I wasn't into anime too much when I started writing, but I do remember Naruto making a guest appearance in the worst of my old stuff (and the first, now that I think of it. It was a 120 page series of people getting killed and brought back to life and their friends being surprised every time. Like Dragonball Z.)


I seem to do a lot of those. My "crap" folder is filled with that kinda stuff, especially Luke Camala getting into street fights with mentally unstable gangsters and such. I THOUGHT I had stopped doing that when I got into Angel Hunters (i.e. Akiria and Boriol actually lose fights. They're still kinda perfect, but I'm working on that.

Okay, since matt's turn is now over, I want to try something that got started in the new thread. The order of the list doesn't matter anymore. You can post whenever you want. Only one person can post their story at a time though. After they post their story, you have to wait 2 days afterwords to post your story. And you cannot post 2 times in a row. Also, if you have a story ready but someone beats you to posting it, then you can pm me, and I'll hold a reservation. So whoever has their short story ready first can go ahead and post it whenever you want.

And again, if anyone is willing, I could use some help with the second thread once we move to the third one.

Edit: And after three days and no one posts anything, I'll assign someone to the next short story.

Okay, I'm going to assign Bacon to post a short story since he hasn't yet.

I think I'll go ahead and move this thread to the new forum. Its going to be titled: improve your writing skills 3rd. I'm going to post a thread for votes if we should post short stories in order like we used to, or continue like we are now. Even if votes are so high in one that its obvious it will get the most votes, post what you want. Because lets say most people vote that we do it the old way again. But if there are at least 5 people who vote for how we do it now, then they will get a different thread. So hopefully everyone gets what they want.

Here is the list of people who will be in the 3rd thread. If you are not in it, then that means you have been taken off for being inactive. Or that you are simply already in the new thread. So if you want back in, you can send me a pm or post. Whichever. If your name is here but you want to quite, then also say so.

1. Bacon
2. Matt
3. umberkid
4. Del
5. Zizi
6. brain132